So with my schedule, I've begun to realize that I am having to say "no" to everything I've wished I had the opportunity to say "yes" to for the past two years of college. I've wanted to be involved in leadership with ministries, and now all my friends are in charge, and I've become a good student who says "no" when I have too much to do. I'm having to choose between things like the Talent Show and Men's Ministry, and I'm opting for the Talent Show because I honestly think I'll have more opportunity to utilize the skills I learn there when I'm doing ministry in the future. After all, a one-man show can be exactly what you need to get people to listen when you talk about Jesus.
I was so ready before. I mean, I thought I was. But now that I'm actually capable, not going through transition anymore, I am too busy to do what I always wanted to.
That brings me to another point. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. I knew it was true back when my oldest brother first went off to college, and he was the favorite sibling upon his return. And I was a favorite upon my return as well. Now I'm having to be a recluse in my room, and I'm thinking so left-brained, I'm afraid that I'll stop being quirky and awkward and turn into a human, and that I won't be able to hang out with friends, and even when I do, that they won't really know me much or prefer my company because they only get so many flashes of limited impressions I give them as I pop out of my dorm once in awhile.
But then I remembered that I tend to get quirky when I go into public after prolonged seclusion. And that those limited impressions will make people want to see more of me. It'll be a privilege to be around me. I've had friends like that before, who I hardly ever had a chance to speak to, but when I did, it was always an exceptional privilege worth working my schedule around.
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