Saints Who Occasionally Sin

I went to the Men's Retreat the men's ministry at JBU holds each year. A lot of great, manly things happened, and manly bonding time and whatnot. But I also had to confront some sorta theological issues that I hadn't bothered to deal with in a long time, mostly 'cause my view on Christianity remains very distinctly different from that of other kiddos.

The first night, we talked about holiness. The thing is, people almost seem to check out when anyone mentions holiness, primarily because it seems like a bit of a far-fetched fairytale idea. And that's kinda strange, since Jesus does tell us, "Be holy as I am holy." I once heard Benny Perez, a pastor in Las Vegas, say "We're not sinners. We're saints who occasionally sin." As Christians, we aren't defined by our sinfulness; we're defined by our salvation. If we refer to ourselves as "sinners", it's like claiming to be an orphan when you have a family, or that you're unemployed when you have a job.

So when we talk about holiness, we need to recognize that it's a real thing that Christ has for us. The moment we step into His grace, we gain the ability to be holy in Him. Jesus didn't just die; He rose again. We're defined by that life in the resurrection.

Anyway, my positive outlook on Christianity tends to clash with others who focus more on the level Christ brought us from, since my view aims more at the level Christ has brought us to.

Break Up Friends

I tend to make good friends with female friends of mind after they and their boyfriends break up. It's not because I'm trying to be a rebound or anything. In fact, that's a trouble that I keep in mind to avoid. It's just easier to get to be good friends with someone when they have a huge boyfriend time gap in their life and you are willing to help make it go more enjoyably.

People also tend to have it in their heads that I'm not really looking to date, which is good, 'cause God hasn't given me a "yes" to dating in my 21+ years of being alive, and frankly, I wouldn't want a girl to have to deal with the me. Granted, I'm my favorite me right now, but I haven't been so for long, and with practical things like years and years of schooling ahead, it comes down to a no-no.

However, I love to be the excuse to help ladies deter other men's pursuits. I've been working that charm since 4th grade.

God is my focus, and until my focus on Him leads me to the lady of my dreams, tain't gonna happen. Sorry babes.

Reform

Someday, I'd like to reform education as a whole. It's been over a year since I read a book simply to enjoy it, and my persistence in taking classes just for the sake of learning something useful is only to my detriment as far as my major is concerned.

Discipline

Fun fact: I don't know how to unfollow people on here. So if you happen to be a bloggist who has to write something incredibly super-spiritual and poetic for every post, maybe tone it down or something, 'cause I have a hard time reading sappy stuff that just seems like Christianeze vomit. WHOOPS, am I allowed to say that?

I'm having trouble with discipline. Prepping for the Talent Show, I was having to work out most days of the week, and I ended up being really impressive with what I was able to do. But after it was done, I didn't wanna leave behind what I had gained. 'Cause really, I'm the most balanced I've been since, well, at least before college, but quite possibly ever. Working out just helps a guy become more stable. It also got me onto a more regular schedule, helped me to eat better, and basically just made me really disciplined overall.

And now the Talent Show is gone, and it's harder to have a reason to do it all. Granted, I imagine all the countless videos I watched full of impossibly flexible and muscular people doing all kinds of dances, and thinking that I might possibly be able to do something akin to that certainly helps me get fired up. But with no show, no performance, I have no deadline. I'm back to school. One of the only things really keeping me at it similarly to the past few weeks is force of habit, which can make me go to the gym after a 3-hour lab goes way overtime.

I guess it just comes back to thoughts of mission trips. After all, everything I'm learning at this school (despite what my professors think) is aimed towards that. I want to be able to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere with just a Bible and the Lord leading me, and be as useful as possible. The thing is, without a deadline, I waste time. Without a trip in mind, or with it off in the distance, I don't concentrate on dancing, working out, learning to juggle, or any other number of things that I really would love to focus on. Rather, Organic Chemistry, Physics, biology research, and the day-to-day troubles fill my head.

I need to remain disciplined. I know I can be, and that it's making me into who I want to be. The me I am when I'm disciplined is the me I've been wishing I could be, and I love it.

Christian vs Secular

The worst thing our Christian culture has done to us is to separate "Christian" and "secular", giving Christians permission to decide between two faces to wear. It allows us to occasionally live a life other than the one we were called to.

Back in the olden days, Jewish people saw their faith as a part of their race. Being God's chosen people was in their blood. In fact, I suppose they still tend to think that way. Most Christians, being gentiles and generally of all sorts of races and cultures, tend to think of the faith being an add-on to who they are, when really, Christ should be at the dead center of who we are.

I only say this because when I think about traveling and mission trips, I think either in terms of "secular" or "Christian." I'm either on a mission trip or I'm just traveling/vacationing. It was never meant to be that way. Ever. I should be going to Uganda this summer, then traveling Europe, doing both as a Christian, not because that's why I'm there, but because that's who I am.

Don't choose between secular and Christian mindsets, 'cause "secular" isn't a mindset a Christian should be able to have.

Talent Show

I didn't place, but everyone had great acts. I felt like I got jipped from getting beat by one of the rapping crews, 'cause really. Really.

Anyway, God and I had talked it over many times before, and He assured me that it didn't matter if I won anything here. The important thing was that I had a deadline, so I could put the whole show together for future mission trips. After all, that's what all of this is for, to spread the gospel.

And now I am incredibly exhausted.

The Talent Show Draws Really Freakin' Nigh

Well, the JBU Talent Show is in a few hours and I'm excited. I think this is the most well-rehearsed I've ever been for a live performance (of any kind), which is nice, 'cause most of it is muscle-memory, and I can focus on making a few lil' parts better. So, I'm basically as good as I should have been for every live performance prior to this one.

My act is titled "LondonSmith.com Presents Symphonies", so although I hope to place in the competition, I'm also really looking forward to having a few people take a look at my video blog and Twitter ('cause who doesn't want more Twitter followers?).

This will probably be a day where I don't stop feeling stage fright, so I'm thinking that naptime might calm my nerves a lil'.

Valentine's Day

Submitting it all to God makes all of it a lot simpler, so I don't have as much to write about. Also, working nonstop with no time to write also affects the whole writing process.

Valentine's Day was a success. I made a lot of single ladies feel good, which more than makes up for the fact that I received no Valentines. Working for eight hours on origami Valentines is tough, but people are so thankful and happy for it. I made people feel special on a day that could easily be crappy, and that is exactly what makes me love Valentine's Day.

This Semester

This semester has been the best and most rewarding by far. Grades aren't perfect, but they're climbing, and I'm being disciplined enough to make it happen.

And Talent Show is this Saturday!

Just A Heads-Up

Submitting everything to God works. It's just hard to get used to again.

Hope In Practical Terms

Hope doesn't always work the way you wish it does. I have a hope that I will pass Organic Chemistry, yet I slept through two classes this week, with a test coming up on Monday. I was about to be upset with God, 'cause I know it wasn't my fault that my phone was on silent this morning. But then I remembered that we're supposed to rejoice when crap happens. So I did.

And now, though I'm pretty positive I'm going to fail Monday's test, I now know that my naptime period in the mornings that I worked into my schedule is now going to be an O Chem period.

Something That Doesn't Work

Being driven by frustrations rather than positive things.

Confidence

Confidence is just knowing who you are in Christ. Figure that out and you'll be peachy.

An Extreme Mean

Aristotle talks about this concept of the Golden Mean, in which each person has their perfect state of balance.

I've realized that with regard to my Christianity, my perfect balance is an extreme. I've found it to be true with lots of missionaries. Whenever you have the mindset that every person you encounter could very well go to hell if you don't share Christ with them, it changes things.

And it's not like a desperation to fill a quota; it's this idea where you think, "my action or inaction is the very thing that could end up defining this person's eternal state."

Everything Revolving Around Him

One of my best friends from home, Cameron, called me today. He told me how God orchestrated his getting back together with his girlfriend. Of course, when I say it like that, it doesn't do it justice to any extent. God kinda just took him and changed his focus to be on Him, and that's what made everything happen.

Because I've grown up in the church all my life, I've developed a view towards "super Christians." I tend to view them as people who are cheesy, who overdo it and make Christianity weird. And I didn't like the negative effects it had on me in high school, how I became a tad judgmental. My faith was the only thing that ever gave me reason to get mad at people (when I saw people being led astray, I got pissed).

But even last night, before that call, I was daydreaming about Uganda and Europe, and all I could think of was what exactly I'd be saying if a Ugandan held a gun to my head and commanded me to deny my faith. I didn't think of street ministry, of working in the hospitals, or of being a street performer in Europe afterwards. I just thought of being confronted with martyrdom, and really checking myself.

The overarching reason for me being where I am in school and life is not from any desire I just came up with. It's been led by God. Yet in daily life, I hadn't allowed that to be reflected. In an effort to avoid confronting issues that God wanted to work out in me, I would preoccupy my thought processes with crushes instead. Rather than being the person in high school I liked (myself), I became like those people I disliked, the ones that never got over their issues.

But Christ should be the center of everything. EVERYTHING should revolve around Him. Drinking, hanging out with friends, crushes, shows and movies you watch, events, social networks. Everything. Because if He isn't constantly the focus, those things can sneakily become sin rather than just a passtime.

I suppose it took a friend having the whole focusing-on-God-bringing-him-into-a-good-and-healthy-relationship for me to believe it again, that it can just be a God thing. That I'm not crazy for not asking girls out just 'cause God isn't the focus and reason for it.

Big Plans

I spent a week working on my dance routine for the talent show last week. That included working out (I gained like eight pounds over the course of a few days), choreographing, and trying to be disciplined with school too. I love doing things like this. Being creative, being forced to plan my time wisely, and preparing for my mission trip to Uganda.

After my four weeks in Uganda, I'm going to Europe for a full seven days, basically like a long layover, which means I must begin and end in Brussels, Belgium. London and Paris are looking like big potential cities to visit, the latter of which is the city I've most wanted to visit all my life. Especially since Paris is having a huge music festival on June 21st, which is totes when I could very well be hopping by.

Oh, I forgot to mention. I MADE IT INTO THE TALENT SHOW! I'm terribly excited, though I'm also pretty intimidated, 'cause I'm a one-man show. It took like two hours after the audition for my stomach to stop clenching up from stage fright. Anyway, it's time to sleep, 'cause I have dance training in 7 1/2 hours.

Oh, and my family is coming. Well, not my whole family, but at least one parent and a few siblings. They've never had an occasion big enough to be worth coming to visit me. But now I'm proud enough of my act in the Talent Show that I've invited them to come for Family Weekend at JBU. And if you would like to see my act, be in Siloam Springs, Arkansas, on February 18, and hop by John Brown University.