The God Side of Things

This break, I got a lot done. One thing was relaxing. I'm exceptionally talented in this area when I have the time. Twelve hours of sleeping can be normal, and it lead to dreams of punching demons one night. Anyway, I also figured out why I've been stressed, and it's ever so simple. I've been so frustrated with school and having so much hanging over my head that I had stopped giving it to God, telling myself that these little things are too immediate of problems to give them to God. I need to take care of them real quickly, and give the rest to God. That isn't how God works.

After talking to Trish (for two hours starting at around two in the morning) about how much I wanted to be able to live like I lived last year (doing God-stuff every second), but with enough balance that I'm not crapping up His temple (my body), I decided to ask God about it. Smart, right? So, here's the gist of what I felt He was telling me. He agreed that I've got a lot to take care of, school-wise, before the end of the year. I'm supposed to spend this time working on school junk and also trying to figure out (partially through seeking guidance from a few wise people) how exactly to go about doing things for God without being a workaholic. What Cameron had said to me back when he pointed out that I needed to stop, was that I didn't have enough input for the amount that I was pouring out. My Word time, Paradigm, and Prototype are on a completely different level right now from what they were last year, so maybe my input is large enough for me to get things done? Your thoughts?

Thanksgiving

Internet has been out and I have a bag of other excuses for not blogging.

First off, Thanksgiving was plenty of fun. I got to hang out with my brothers (Preston--older, and Chas--oldest), who taught me a lil' about the internet and its capabilities. Chas helped to grill up the ol' turkey. I also got to play with Turtle, Chas's lil' wiener dog. And his Xbox 360, but I'd rather not talk about when I become a geek. The Newmans were also there, and that was pretty neutral. On the downside, my face started swelling up that wonderful Thanksgiving Day.
We still don't know the cause of the swelling, but I'm told that swelling usually doesn't happen just for kicks. I am still swollen in my mouth, but it's not noticeable (unless you make out with me).

(Sorry about the bad quality of the pictures. They were taken from my dad's phone. I'm getting my good camera back tomorrow.)

R-r-r-r-r-r-rANDOM!

I went to CFNI today. Biggest news was me talking to Zach Shey for like two hours. It was the first time we've ever connected. Good stuff.

You're supposed to fill it out with sixteen random things about yourself. It's from Facebook.

1. I like to use good grammar.
2. I used to collect business cards so I could act like I was looking through them when I was bored in line or some such thing. But then I got a cell phone and everything changed.
3. I'm the life of the party if dancing is involved. Ask anyone whose party I've been to.
4. I avoided music almost entirely until my pre-teen years.
5. My shoes add around an inch to my height.
6. I'm half-African American. Don't diss my AA peeps.
7. I hate onions.
8. I tend to smell good. Have you noticed?
9. My pencil-sharpener is a green happy face on a spring. Impressed?
10. I think that God wants us to have superpowers for Him.
11. I like our new president-elect. His dad was born in Kenya, too. Finally! Someone to represent my minority.
12. I follow and devise theories about The Office, Lost, and Heroes.
13. I was raised on The Simpsons like a child is raised on goat's milk.
14. I pay close attention to expiration dates. If it's expired, I ain't ingestin' it.
15. I can scratch any part of my back. No limitations.
16. I'm a fan of giving foot massages (only women, though, 'cause they tend to clean their feet more often).

I uninstalled the crappy pop-up blockers that didn't help. I can right-click tabs again, but still have pop-up trouble.

Celebration Station

Today, I saw the fruit of all my efforts and planning come together. To get a group of five junior highers to come together takes skill, time, and money. I had none of these, so my "Guys Day Out" ended up consisting of Brett, Clayton (who I picked up myself), and I. After getting lost for half an hour trying to find Clayton's house (it's a castle, by the way), we made our way to Celebration Station. It was wondrous.

First off, the parking lot was as empty as my wallet. It was easy to park right at the front. Next, the place had Brett sitting in it. Uncanny? Anyway, Clayton lit up when he saw the arcade, and we spent big bucks there, followed by some big bucks spent on putt-putt golf. We went fishing with our clubs and managed to get a few extra clubs and balls, so we had extra chances to win on that 18th hole, but to no avail! Since pizza was overpriced, we decided to forgo a meal there and went to Chik Fil A instead.

Thanks for coming, Brett. Our small groups should come together like this more often.

Oh, I also had 19 pop-ups waiting for me when I got home.

I tried to steal Brett's pictures, but they didn't work. http://theautobiographyofbrettm.blogspot.com/

Quality Education

Quality. My main concern when applying for college is a quality education. This sounds like a typical thing, but here's the deal. Daniel Lewis, basically my adopted brother, is taking college Physics and Chemistry. He has all kinds of questions and things about both subjects. He likes to think a little bit and make his own theories. He has pitched several theories to his teachers, and they typically talk a lot without giving a real answer.

I do not want to end up in a college like that. I want quality. I wanna be able to question things and to have my questions answered. What if Daniel had somehow stumbled upon a huge scientific discovery? What if I stumble upon a huge scientific discovery? If no professors can recognize it as what it is, it could fade away and remain undiscovered.

I don't plan on being smart enough to discover something huge. But I know that God has bigger plans for me than I could ever make on my own. I wanna be around people who could recognize something new, or be able to correct me on the subject.

This is why I so question many Christian colleges. It is why I am so inclined towards Boston University.

Word time + Sleep = Happier London

He needs his quiet time though.

I'm gonna try to add more later.

Pop-Ups And God On The Brain

I was watching Heroes online, and my internet was being crappy, so the video was choppy. I'm an American, and don't approve of this, so I Googled for a website that would play it better. I found such a website, but it had the "?" that my computer uses to tell me whether a website is good or bad. I now have pop-ups. They mostly use internet explorer, which I hate anyway, but when I clicked to delete it, it resurrected itself. Creepy, huh? It's been too long since I've had computer problems.

I got a detention today. They had a locker check and apparently empty water bottles are prohibited. I'll be taking all of my finals this year.

My One frustrates me. I wish I could know if she's joking about Christianity or if she's anywhere near serious.

I have research to do over break. Mr. Beaumont loaned me like six books on Alexander Pope, who I'm doing my poet research paper on, and he expects it to be way hard. I also have to read Dr. Seuss biographies and make notecards on his stuff.

I don't like to look to the past all the time, but today I was thinking about those men of God, well-known pastors and evangelists, who have God on the brain at all times. Their focus is totally on God, and He makes it into every part of their lives. I got pretty dern close to living that way last year. I wanna be like that again, except without doing harm to my body.

I sound frustrated as of late, don't I?

Visions

In the Paradigm service tonight, Lance talked for a lil' bit about visions and things that God has spoken to you, and if you've been following after them. My mind brought back the vision I had a few months before going to Kenya. I saw myself praying for someone, then feeling a shift underneath the clothing, like bones moving into place, and my eyes widened in surprise. In response to this, I had prayed for hands of healing while in Kenya, but did not see this fulfilled, though I had believed that it would be. This put God and I on bad terms for awhile, but I came to terms and dropped it. One thing new I noticed tonight was that my eyes widened when I felt the change. That means that I was aware of the change.

Maybe it could be translated in a different way. I dunno.

OTHER NEWS

I was texting with Katie the other day about what she had been doing at JBU, and she said at one point, "You're gonna love it here." I replied with, "You're sounding like I'm gonna be going there for sure."

The funny thing was, my spirit was open to the idea of JBU. BU has been my focus, but now JBU is not off-limits. It makes me wonder...(AND ASK GOD FOR ANSWERS!!!)

Needs More Joints

I talked to Mr. Harber today, explained my point of view on the whole detention there, heard his side, and he ended up being quite open to having the permanent repercussions of my detention (having to take finals) repealed.

At the moment, Pre-Cal is becoming an enjoyable class. I already know everything we're learning right now (STUPID TRIGONOMETRY!) so I mostly sit and draw. And since I have the policy of not saying one word without being specifically called on, there's no chance of getting in trouble. I like drawing. Although, to be honest, since I feel unable to draw a normal body, I tend to draw a torso with limbs and head floating separately. They still convey whatever I'm saying, but I think I may need to throw in some ligaments.

I'll post more tonight if a revelation hits me.

Shut Yourself

My teacher, Mr. Harber, came back from his voyage to the Virgin Islands. In Pre-Cal, I tried a new strategy. I had tried many to get through the class without Mr. H getting mad at me, but to no avail. Today, I was silent as the grave. I kept on writing down and underlining "DON'T TALK" to myself, and other similar phrases, plus drawings of someone banging their head with a hammer while drinking from a can of Unhappiness. It was my most successful class with him. I even managed to tolerate him talking about the detention and how we should have better attitudes. A friend of mine, who had never gotten in trouble in that class before, was asking questions about the subject, and he got upset at her for the first time. Why, you may ask? Because I wasn't participating, so he had to get mad at someone who was. Anyway, I'm enjoying the fact that I can possibly get through the class if I don't say anything. Needless to say, I had to make things right with his place of authority and with God on my way home.

In other news, we have a tentative booking on our senior trip cruise. It's April 4-9 with Carnival. You should come.

Clean And Delve

I like serving a God who LOVES giving clean slates. I've been horrible with my Bible reading for the past month, and, to quote my father who's quoting from someone else, "It takes four weeks to make a habit," (at least, I think it was around a month). So I thought, OH CRAP, I've made a habit out of being inconsistent with my Bible reading. Now it's gonna be WAY harder to get back into the groove. But then I realized something grand. When I fess up to God about how crappy I've been and ask for His forgiveness, this "habit" can be gone in a jiffy. I'm the only one holding it there (plus the words of my father, if I choose to accept them).

Oh, and one more thing! I was talking to God about reading, and telling Him that I can get by with reading like every other day during the week, and still have enough Word in me to pour out to my small group, so why would I need to get into a healthier habit? Then God was like, "But is that gonna be able to carry you through college?" and I was like, hole, He's right. I've gotta be delving, not just skimming, if I'm gonna make a difference where I'm going.

Time To Dance

I have a friend, Jake Davis, who always helps to release a more outgoing side of me. I am highly regarded by their family, and I think they're a blast, so it was good to have him come over today for Priscilla's Sweet Sixteen Birthday Party. First off, my room became a meeting place (NOT NORMAL), and Jake and I loaded up on supplies, such as African and Thai drums and horns of various sorts, and we went out to greet people.

When a good amount of people had arrived, we started a dance circle on the porch. Every time I'm with Jake, we end up dancing, and we pick up moves from each other. I whipped out my puppet move (I look similar to a marionette), he showed off some Russian dancing, which is terribly hard to pull off. The music turned off for a lil' bit while they changed songs, and I yelled to them, "Please don't stop the, please don't stop the, please don't stop the music!" (That's quoting from a song, for those of you who didn't catch on.)

Shout-out to D. Andrew who showed off his dance moves for much of it!

There was later a marshmellow fight that involved two broken chairs, but these did not interest me nearly as much as the dance-off.

Friday Blog

I talked to Mr. Beaumont about my senior thesis yesterday, and it went rather well. I told him that I hadn't been taking notes, just taking in what I read, and that was my only problem. It was funny to see him laugh so much at Dr. Seuss's WWII drawings. He understood all the jokes that I didn't.

I've also been doing a lil' bit of drawing. But I'll share about that once there's something to share about.

I slept yesterday. A lot. And my Word time has been scanty. These are reasons for a lack of a Friday blog.

Even The Teensiest Thing

Alyssa Kay (a friend I met during The Core) called me up from Virginia today. This is the first time we talked since one of the CFNI Campus Days where we both shouted each others' names and then she had to go to work. Our conversation went at a million miles a minute (I missed that too) and I mentioned how my relationship with God controls everything, even my acne. She started to talk about how God should be a part of every aspect, even what we wear in the morning, 'cause what if you decide to wear purple one day and someone says, "I love that shade of purple," and the conversation ends up heading towards God? God wants to have all of us. What you give Him decides what He can work through directly. If we give everything to God, we even give the trifling things. 'Cause to Him, they aren't trifling. They're important tools for His kingdom.

Inconceivable? With God, All Things Are Possible.

As the official planner for the senior trip, I have found several intriguing options. Road trip to South Padre was a good one, but we wouldn't get any school funding for it. A better idea, one that we didn't shoot for 'cause we figured it would be impossible, was a cruise. How could we afford a cruise, you may ask? Well, our school has a nasty habit of giving us a week off of school at times other than the traditional, "Spring Break." This has normally worked to our disadvantage. However, the last week in February or the week before Easter just might be the weeks for fun. The February date is iffy, but the Easter one shows promise. Student Council is willing to put in $100 to each senior for whatever trip we do (this is partly due to the work I started as president *takes a bow*). This still means that we need to raise over $200 each, but that's without negotiating prices for a large group. There is potential here. Smokin' hot potential.

Down A Level

I was at my locker today, and I saw Sydney at hers next to me, so I said, "Hey Sydney," to which she replied, "I was standing here five minutes ago and you didn't say a word!" I, rather than face the fact that I may very well have ignored her, asked, "Do you need a hug?" So we hugged and she said, "Woah, you went down to my level. That's way better." My hugs are normally coming from quite a height.

This is what earns the most respect from me when it comes to leadership. The best preachers that I know of always bring themselves down to a level of, "I'm only human; I'm right on your level." I once prayed with Jed at a leaders meeting when he was still asst. youth pastor, and when we prayed for each other, we were both going through the same thing. When Pastor Benny Perez spoke at YFN, he talked all about his insecurities regarding his unhealed body, while the bodies of everyone around him were getting healed.

If you want to gain respect, go down to the level of those you want respect from.

Sketching

The first thing that really got me thinking in artsy terms recently was when I was drugged up from wisdom teeth, and I was trying to think of what use I could put to this intoxicated state.

Last night, I was watching a documentary on Dr. Seuss (I'm doing my senior thesis on different aspects of his books). Apparently, like me, he was a crappy artist, 'cause he never ended up drawing what he intended to. He would try to draw a kangaroo, and it'd look crappy and nothing like one. This is one reason why he made up his own animals (it also helped with his rhyming quite a bit). I gave up on drawing quite early, thinking that I was simply untalented in that area. However, after looking at the way Dr. Seuss did things, I'm thinking that maybe it's not too late to try putting pencil to paper and drawing a few sketches.

Reminiscing

Cold, rainy days are good for reminiscing, right? As it happened, my dad was cleaning some stuff out, and he came across an old camera. He tossed it to me and I discovered some pictures of me back in my most awkward phase. In all my years, I avoided feeling out of place by thinking, for a time, that I'm a loner. My mom once told me that, like my oldest brother, I don't need friends to keep going, unlike some people. I let this define me for a time, and I soon found that loners have a hard time having close friends. Not because loners aren't likeable, but because loners isolate themselves, whether consciously or unconsciously. I've learned to be better at making friends, but I have a lil' subconscious worry wort in the back of my mind wondering whether I'll be making the close friends that I have desired.

Quality Time

In response to some advice, I'm gonna try doing some short daily blogs, then maybe a recap of the week like I've been doing (this part is for my own personal reference).

We were in a student leader meeting today, and, although the topic was failure, my mind drifted, 'cause I was alright on the subject. I started to think of what things are most memorable to me. See, my primary love language is Quality Time. This summer, I spent ten or fifteen minutes talking with Katie at a birthday party outside by a pool. This makes me think a lil' bit. The "Quality" in "Quality Time" makes a huge difference. Those ten or fifteen minutes meant more to me than many of the hours that we had hung out. The Time factor was filled by hours of study halls together, but they fade in comparison to the Quality.

Trust VS. Discouragement

Last Friday, I went to work at Canton, which was way more fun this time, 'cause there was work to be done (lifting furniture). It was also Halloween, and I had no costume besides three dots (I was gonna go as a 3-hole-punched London, like Jim in The Office). But there was a costume contest on The Mountain, so Zach Nickel insisted that I dress up. Never being one to turn down such opportunities, I stuck a feather duster in the back of my pants, drew whiskers on my face, and competed as a cat. Unfortunately, I lost to a hairy cross-dresser.

The next day, I went to the lady across from us and got an airbrush tattoo of "D Andrew" (for David Andrew Nemeth) on my chest.

It was a good birthday present for him, and his party that night was great. We watched Iron Man outside, and Trish, Bri, and I snuggled closely on the couch, for it was chilly outside, but this problem was solved when Mrs. Nemeth brought out hot chocolate for everyone. Incredible. That night, after the party, I came across the problem which I blogged about in my previous post. I was an hour and a half past the deadline for Early Decision to BU. I panicked and freaked out, too.
I went out to eat with Trish, Jordan, Hiro, and Pasha the next day, and Trish was in a more reserved mood, and, with me still being upset from the previous night's occurrences, so was I. This helped us to get along until I left for the Kenya meeting (which was just more fundraiser stuff). I went home after this to prep for small groups (God always tells me a whole bunch during that hour before small groups, so when I get there, I feel like changing what our planned discussion would be, but I have a partner, so that don't work). At small groups, we played human Foosball, which involves rolled-up newspapers. I'll take pictures of these things as soon as I get my camera back (Priscilla left it with a friend FOR WEEKS NOW). After all of this, I finally got to tell God how angry I was, and I let the sun go down on my anger towards Him (never, EVER smart to do) for letting me miss that deadline.

Monday, I was angry all day, and God's favor left me. This showed itself with teachers. Mr. Harber gave me an unofficial detention, so I had to stay in during lunch. This punishment was given because while everyone else was making jokes in class (and joking around was the general mood), I made some little joke, and for some reason, Mr. Harber thinks of me as "the feather that breaks the camel's back". I told Newman about my discouragement and anger at God, and he said that he was frustrated too, what with being medically disqualified from going to the air force academy due to braces. However, I knew all day that the only way to fix this with God was to go and sit with Him, talk to Him a lil', then just listen. I demanded that He show me where He was going with all the discouragement. I fell asleep a lil' during this time, and I don't know whether I was asleep or not when God basically told me (kinda angrily), "How dare you make these demands! You cannot comprehend what I am doing, so just trust in me." It was a good quiet time.

Tuesday, I was totally aiming to go to EMP, but then I definitely didn't. Our prayer meeting was good. Jordan also had discouragement, plus some weariness, so we all prayed over that junk. Also, we're having a retreat in January, 'cause One Voice was so effective that it inspired the administration and the prayer team. So yeah, be looking out for that.

THE ELECTION! I, like everyone on myspace, have to state my political opinion, right? Obama is alright. Not only is he alright, but he's also the man that God put in charge, so he's actually the best possible choice for president at the moment, right? Plus, he represents the small but important minority of half-African Americans whose fathers were born in Kenya. We need more representation! Anyway, I'm glad that my Dreams will come true and that Change will happen everywhere and that I won't have to worry about college, car, or house payments because Obama is gonna fix it all. FIX IT. Oh, and we are all Obamans, citizens of Obamadon, the land of Obamanation. And black people are also Obamans. My political opinions matter!

Wednesday, I had some more discouragement. I only cry three or four times a year, for serious situations (or if I'm with my brothers, 'cause they're gifted in that area). I cried that day. Mr. Harber had assigned homework, and, after working some on the board, he suddenly decided to take it up as a quiz grade. I went to his desk and asked him if he could go over one more problem, 'cause I didn't understand it. He said to the class and I, "Everyone sit down," quite seriously, seemingly expecting immediate results. However, the assignment was still in my notebook, and I had yet to tear it out. So I began to ask him if I could tear it out and turn it in before going to my desk, but I could not complete the sentence before he said, "London, come with me. You're getting a real detention." He told Mrs. Rapacz to write down "Disrespect" for the reason. I cried for two reasons (as a man, I have to justify if I can). Number one: just one detention means that I will have to take my Finals at the end of the year, with no chance to cop out of them. Number two: I was not being disrespectful in the least, and felt that it was an unjust punishment. I could not talk to him afterwards, 'cause the voice of wisdom told me that I would end up being disrespectful to him, and I didn't wanna do that. On the way home, I kept myself from getting mad at God. I didn't wanna do that again.

Thursday, I felt a lil' better, 'cause Mr. Harber was on a sailing vacation in the Virgin Islands for a week, and we had subs. Honestly, I wish Mr. Barlow was our normal Physics teacher. I understood what he talked about. This is a new thing. Mrs. Townsend is always hilarious, and she is gonna be giving us Algebra II refreshers. I talked to my One after school about reading the Bible, 'cause (as I told her), it's God's Words for you. It's almost like cheating to hear from God, 'cause all you have to do is read. Following this, I went to Prototype, which was at Caleb's new apartment (a few apartments over from where Preston used to stay). We talked about our Romans stuff, and he told me about the difference between quiet time, Word time, and prayer time. They aren't all the same thing, apparently. Then I drove over to CFNI and hung out with those college kids, found out that some of them hated me talking about Obama, found out that Trish's TVO had accidentally been turned off so we had no Office, then went home.

Today (being Friday), I went to the computer lab and stole my yearbook pictures so I could have them on my computer, then went to the McBrides' house for a prayer team get-together. Apparently, Michelle is annoyed by me at every second. We don't get to hang out much, so maybe I tend to act extremely casual around her. Anyway, it was a good ol' time, and I went home from there and kicked back and relaxed a lil' bit. I've gotta work on my senior thesis tomorrow, 'cause Mr. Beaumont wants a working outline of it and evidence of research by next week, and I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to show for it.

Frustrations? From London? Naahhhhh. (ANGRY BLOG)

Bah! I'm friggin' annoyed right now. Haven't gotten decent quiet time this week, and my college application for the early decision at Boston friggin' University was due. I don't know how it happened, but I was convinced that the deadline was Tuesday, November 4th. Maybe it's just 'cause of election crap. So anyway, at 1:00 AM on November 2nd, I get online to finish things on my application, and I read that the deadline is November 1st. I guess that I was just being a retard, but SERIOUSLY. I worked so friggin' hard to get that thing done in time, and it was not in time. Now I'm gonna have to wait till March or April to find out if I get in, rather than December. I'm trying to give it to God, but when He gives me something, I wanna run with it. I felt that He gave me Boston University. So I ran with it. Now I'm ticked. What if God turns the tables on me now and says, "Oh right, I really wanted you to go to A&M. I only told you Boston to test you."? On top of that, I'm trying to load all my application status stuff, and it won't work. I was only an hour and a half from turning the application in on time. I could've done it! And I've also got to decide on a missions trip. I really, really wanna do a Paradigm one. But the Kenya team wants and expects me to go with them. But there's a certain person on the team that I very much dislike talking to, and she'll try to talk to me more if we're all going together, especially with fewer teens. If Paradigm decides to go to Russia (rather than China), which it may, then I don't particularly wanna go, 'cause it's not a place known for supernatural junk. China would be more likely to have it. Is this selfish of me? I crave it. I don't wanna go to Kenya 'cause I've been there, and I didn't see any crazy supernatural goings-on. It was just relationships. I do relationships all year round. It was also playing with kids. I play with kids all the time. The main point is that it's not FOR ME. BAH! Bah bah bah, bah Barbara-Anne!!!

(I'll probably make a real blog soon, but this stuff has to come out somehow.)