A Mustard Seed...

When you see a mountain, don't lament because the mountain is so incredibly huge and unclimbable. Rejoice, because it's so incredible huge and unclimbable, and yet, your God has promised to take you over that mountain and into new lands. Thank Him ahead of time, 'cause you know that He's gonna get you there, and the only way is if He does an seemingly impossible feat in your life.

God+Me=Good

This picture is for Bekah (or, if you really like, it can also be for you!). I saw a kid at Harry Myers wearing a shirt with a cape sewn onto it, and I immediately became jealous. If she were to make a similar one for me, a green cape on a plain white tee would be wondrous.

We all do what we can to discomfort the lives of our teachers and those above us, but rarely do we have the chance to do it in a rather official way. A Senior Prank is a chance to do just that. I'm afraid I cannot spill the beans on this blog of what we're doing, besides one little peek. If you wanna know more, ask me in person (or through text, email, Facebook Chat, or all those other forms of communication).

I've been getting a lot more Word time in yesterday and today, and I'm very glad, 'cause I just had a long, LONG chat with my dad. For the first time, I learned some deep issues in his life. He needs healing. I think I'm about to get better acquainted with Pastor Brad, upon the advice of the madre.

Small groups was great tonight. I was already sore from a good workout and lawnmower hauling yesterday, so capture the fuzzy (I forgot what type of stuffed animal it was) took a lot out of me. Plus, I had only eaten sweets that day. We were all beat afterwards, so naturally, we had to settle down and talk about prophecy. We might talk about it again next week, 'cause we didn't get a chance to focus on how THEY can go about prophecying. There are practical guidelines that I would've appreciated at their age. By the way, Jillian Irons is helping lead our small group now. Talk about awesome! Maybe I'll get to know her a little bit through this.

I'm officially in charge of the youth and children's ministries on the Kenya trip. While the adults go to the pastor's conference, I'm kinda heading it up. Oh Jesus!

Hold on, I kinda feel like letting out my responsibilities real quick. I'm not frustrated, just aware. $1,200 due sunday, 10-12 page poetry paper due May 4th, book report and play report due May 8th, Health I online class done by May 8th weekend, three+ messages for Kenya, plus chores and homework in between. Feels good to let it out.

LalalaLALALALA (I sang that on key)

Sometimes, I just need a refill of God's Spirit. A fresh outpouring. I got that yesterday and today.

Thanks to my singing lessons from Megan on the way to church, I've learned that my favorite songs have become my favorites because I sing them on key. Or, as Megan informed me today, I "talk" them on key. Unfortunately, my favorites list is small, and it shows. The good thing is that I can actually tell when I'm on or off key, even if I can't always get to the key I want. (I'm saying "key" a lot, and I'm hoping it's the right word)

Six Flags on May 1st. If anyone wants to join, it's an open invite. We have our official (school approved) senior skip day, so it should be fun.

I also may have gotten both Alexandra and I free new iPod Touches. We're geniuses. And no, it wasn't from one of those pop-up ads.

This Day, And Nothin' But

In our prayer team meeting today, we had ministry time with each other. Jordan prayed for me about my ongoing school battle. I almost feel like it's a spirit of defeat or something that comes at me. Anyway, I feel a difference. A good one.

In Pre-Cal, I've slowly been moving my desk towards the far corner from Mr. Harber. He hasn't noticed yet. It allowed me to sit next to Hiro, who asks me questions about the problem we're on, then makes fun of me when I try to help. Dirty Japs.

My right nipple is bruised 'cause someone bit it. I live life on the edge.

I talked to Jason Holland about the Kenya trip (while he burned me a copy of me preaching) today, and he talked about how he didn't want most of the people to go with us that had been planning to. The group we ended up with was the group he wanted.

M-M-M-Mondays!

Mondays are normally tragically disheartening. I go to school determined to make the week a great one, then I get hit with a lot of crap to start out my day. Today was no exception, what with getting my first zero on a test grade, but I learned a little something from Ecclesiastes 4:4, and 9-12 happened to be what God was talking to me about today. Unfortunately, I wasn't very attentive to His words. Maybe He'll tell me more tonight.

I've been dreaming a lot. Probably because of these melatonin pills, but also because I love my dreams. Last night, I learned through my dreams a few things I was subconsciously thinking about my friends. Dreaming feels good. I think I'll go dream right now.

Oh, and here's an update on the Kenya trip. Two of our group who were going to be speaking a lot have dropped out, and now instead of being a substitute for speaking once, I'm going to be speaking at least three times minimum. Plus, I'm probably going to be heading up the children's ministry again, since the other lady has back problems and can't deal with Kenyan beds. $1,200 is due in a few weeks. His will, His bill.

Back On the Offensive

In my dream last night, I was at Alyssa's birthday party again, and her drunk uncle asked me the same question he had asked in real life. Who are you? He acted like he wouldn't accept a shallow answer. In actuality, I was vague. In my dream though, I was more specific,

"I'm a co-heir with Christ, the Son of God. I have within me the ability to be a legit superhero. The ability is in me to teleport, to fly. I can kill a thousand men with a bone. It is within me to lay hands on a person and see their body be healed of all illnesses. I'm a Christian."

I had forgotten about that dream until Prototype tonight. We're reading this book on being a man in the way God intended, and it's making me think of how wimpy my outlook on graduation has been. When I can't decide if having 37 more days of school is a good or bad thing, something is wrong. This attitude is a battle, and if I'm going in thinkin' of how junky my life is, then I'm losing. I found myself getting a lil' annoyed in the morning when I didn't have any intense prayer warring music. The best artists focus more on deep worship and being soft-toned, and I need to be getting mad at the devil for trying to crap up my friends and their effectiveness by giving them losing mindsets.

And God told me that He had to teach me stuff about the resurrection and junk, and now that the Easter thing is over, He's gonna start giving me fresh Words, including things for Kenya.

In Need Of Fresh

I've written like five drafts of blogs, but all of them keep looking pessimistic. I need some fresh Words.

Prom and Senior Trip

I haven't even looked at the Christian Homeschool Prom pictures yet, but I didn't have too much fun there anyway. Surprised? I was too.

The senior trip, however, was INCREDIBLE. Jordan Wood, Daniel Lewis, Preston (my brother), Victoria Blanc, Priscilla, Alexandra, my mom, Sydney, Elinor, Alyssa, and Alyssa's mom all went on a cruise. The first night, Jordan and I were careful to get together and discuss standards and pray and whatnot, 'cause we didn't wanna do anything that we'd feel guilty about later, but it turns out that that wasn't even a temptation. My brother, Preston, got a lil' tipsy that night, and was the only one to do so the whole trip. While we played Craps, he kept winning, and when I would ask him to return my room key, he kept pulling out $20s and asking me how much he owed me. He later fell asleep on the top deck. Jordan and I had never been so discouraged from getting drunk in our lives. I'd be much happier to get drunk on the Spirit any day.

The next day, sun day, was a night at sea, and a formal night. We all dressed up and made friends with a photographer, who particularly liked me, 'cause I brought a cane and tophat, and he rarely gets to work with props. Beginning at midnight that night, the dance floor at the "Stripes disco" opened, and I did some fun dancing there. I also developed a fan base of a few friendly girls, who I attempted to teach a few moves to. I love my rare opportunities to dance in a tux.

Monday and Tuesday were spent in Progresso and Cozumel, Mexico. I got to have my first real body massage ($10 for a half-hour), followed by a banana-boat ride and general beach time. I also got my much-desired cowboy hat, and a nifty Mexican-style hoodie that looks too big on anyone who wears it.

Wednesday was our last day at sea. I lied to our group and told them it was a formal night (even though it was "cruise casual"), and, being the foolish believers they were, everyone dressed up. We got good pictures of the seniors, which are being scanned (since we were too cheap to pay for a $10 cd) by another family to share later. Then I hit the dance floor again, which was great fun.

The trip was great. Daniel Lewis got to talk to Sydney and Elinor a lil' more personally, and they, especially Sydney, opened up to him. Sydney was definitely a favorite on the trip. She was really balanced and knew her boundaries and stuff, but was still plenty of fun. I got to learn a lil' of why each of them stopped going to church, and even though I don't know all the details, I don't blame them. Their main problem was with judgmental people.

I also got to develop an opinion on drinking. Drinking for good taste is alright with balance, but drinking to get drunk is retarded. The Bible wasn't hiccuping when it came up with that rule.

And I do better with gambling when I'm there to have fun and make everyone else have a good time. I lose money when I think of how much I can make. I tried to include God as much as possible, but it was weird. I kept thinking I heard the Spirit telling me to do things while gambling, but I was a lil' conflicted about it, so I just copied Daniel Lewis's bets.

I got an acceptance letter from Boston University. What a surprise there! It's pretty much out of the question, being twice the cost of JBU, but I still am unsure where God is sending me. It was unexpected, for sure.

EDIT- As per request, the Facebook link to the rest of my pictures. More to come from other cameras. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/album.php?aid=71390&id=631798935

Lessons Learned

I don't know fully why this week has been so atrocious, but I do know what God has been telling me through it all.

On monday, I got the news at school that Tyler was valedictorian and Pasha was salutatorian. Don't worry, I wasn't jealous. I knew how much they put into it. But when I went to the office to find out about my honors, they were not even sure if I would get any. It's kinda funny, 'cause up until this year my grade was over a 4.0. And now, because of one teacher, all that work was gone? That fast, everything I had put so much into had disappeared? Then I remembered my first car, the Scion xB. I didn't understand why God would let that happen, since it was totally Him who led us to it. Then I got in the car accident, and it was all gone in a flash. I remember saying that night as I watched them tow away the totaled automobile, "Just like that, it's simply gone." He gives and takes away. Just as He can stick a hundred dollars in my hand from nowhere (happened when I was like eleven), He can take away that same amount. Don't hold onto whatever work you've done as if it'll carry you. Only He will.

Another big thing was student council. My position in there was Historian. I was unelected, just selected. From what I can tell, I was supposed to advise student council based on past experience. I've mentioned before just how invisible I am in there. In fact, the only time I became visible was at the last meeting, when the sponsor yelled at me for having to leave set-up a lil' early. I was not visible when I presented the main ideas that made the school dance successful. Then Josh Newman presented the ideas for me, and they were accepted with open arms. ~~~~I'll stop complaining. I skipped the meeting this past wednesday because I had to meet with Jordan about our Connect class, and I was also not in the mood to be yelled at (having been on the point of tears that morning). They kicked me off because of that. So I was trying to puzzle out WHAT on EARTH could be learned from it, and (thanks to Pastor Benny Perez's podcast with Wendy Perez speaking) I came to realize that "A good name is more desirable than great riches" -Proverbs 22:1a. It goes along with the GPA thing too. Unlike Pasha, who focuses completely on school and not on friends much at all, and unlike Tyler, who focuses on Brookshires and his girlfriend for the most part, and unlike the student council members who actually don't show up for meetings, I've got a pretty good name. My rep is good. I'm at peace with people. So no matter what is done to my honors and positions, "A good name is more desirable than great riches."

Ode To Door

I wrote some sad, upset, and confused blogs over the last few days, 'cause the week was awfully crappy, but instead, I'd like to share a poem inspired by and written during my Pre-Calculus class. It describes my outlook whilst we Pre-Calculate.

"Ode To Door"

Oh door,
Thy gateway is to me
The only escape from the hole I see.
You are in my eyes,
The escape from all I despise.
The floor is lava, and so is my chair
But your gateway leads out of despair
Oh! If the clock would only quicken its tick!
Then, THEN I'd give such a kick
And make my glorious escape
Through that luminescent, glowing gate.
My eyes falter, perhaps deceived.
Could it truly be time to leave?
No...NO! False hope slammed from my vision!
I found myself quite far from my mission.
Should I give up? Perhaps.
'Cause against time, who can last?