Feeling of Accomplishment

That last post was made before a shower. I felt ever so greasy and awful.

It's hard to keep a positive mindset. Like I said, I feel like it's a cartoon here, where there is always the same overarching plotline of making good grades, when the real story happens in living life. The problem is, I feel like I haven't had so many real stories. I mean, half a semester went by and I feel like all I have to show for it are grades. No acting, one modeling job, no making videos, and no real performances. My efforts to avoid getting distracted have only managed to make me demoralized. Granted, I like a lot of what I'm studying now. Especially research (though the poison ivy isn't helping that case). It's just that I don't feel like I've accomplished anything, like I've got nothing to show for my time right now.

I've thought about doing more vlogs, if only in small tidbits. Since I'm thinking of keeping my facial hair after No-Shave November, I might document it and show a little of my progression through my two years here.

The thing that originally gave me the most accomplished feeling, the greatest sense that regardless of what anybody says, I achieved something worthwhile, is the mission field. It's a selfless act of leaping into the unknown and relying on whatever you had prepared to get you through, clinging to God and casting everything on Him, 'cause if you for a moment lose focus on Jesus, everything you do on the mission field goes to nothing.

But I'm not there. And I haven't accomplished anything.