The Other Life

Today, we scheduled a podcast recording with an Emmy nominated writer for perhaps the most famous mainstream sketch show of the modern era. I am listening to his podcast as they discuss the world of acting and comedy, and I cannot help but wonder about that world that I left behind for medicine. I watched a twitch stream of one of our recurring guests and he referred to me as a real doctor... and a comedian. People keep referring to me as a comedian and, like titles such as improviser or actor, I have been hesitant to use such a term. In my mind, to properly claim any of those titles, one must pursue that vocation professionally. To act, acting must become your job, at least part time, which means that I am a former child actor. "Former" and "child" are necessary qualifiers. But now I am the host of a weekly improvised comedy podcast, and though it currently does not generate revenue, it could do so in the future.

The thing is, I found myself at a certain point in December. I admitted to myself that I may not be able to pass this exam. Months later, I have regressed further in my knowledge. I still hope to get back into it any day now, especially with vaccines potentially allowing stress relief to be a legitimate option. That being said, what if comedy becomes a legitimate prospect? As soon as I am able to practice medicine, I of course want that, but what about my childhood dream of acting?

I was telling my mother about some of these podcast-related things today. She brought up how I had been trained in improvisation in acting classes, and how our manager saw me as a young Jack Nicholson. In a sense, it all comes back to this question that began when God first told me to go into this. What am I good at? I soon learned that I am naturally very good at many things outside of the world of science, and it was only years of hard work that turned me into a medical scientist. And the other sides of me continue to reveal themselves. I would even argue that much of what makes me a good doctor is the performative side, the bedside manner. These are all just pondering thoughts in my mind, and I hope to make residency a reality next year. I just have to find a way to make my brain and body comply...