The Old Year & Improving On It

In the past, I had a tradition of writing out the history of my year. I would go through enough that such a piece of writing would take multiple posts. I am going to attempt a version of that here.

I began the year with the realization that I had been slacking at the gym. Specifically, I did not have abs. Being without a six-pack is worrisome to me, and made me fret about how time is aging me. So something approaching an unofficial New Years resolution was to do sit-ups every day. Though I have slacked here and there, I can say that I have regained and retained those abs for the most part. The odd thing is that when I was studying, I was far more consistent with the workouts, because it helped me focus. This is despite the fact that when I am buried in studying, I have no reason to have abs. Now that it is useful, it has become more of a chore. And possession of abs truly was useful, particularly when filming the short horror film with my contortionist skills. It was a workout, and if the director's follow up emails of praise were anything to go by, it did the trick.

I went to Scotland to fulfill a bucket list item, visiting Scotch distilleries. I was processing a great many things. My relationship with my father, what if any jobs in medicine were realistic, whether I could get back into show business... And by the end of the trip, I had spent most of the pennies I had pushed together, so I tried for the medical jobs first. One would think that those would be the most realistic, but it turned out that it is tough for unlicensed medical doctors to get good work, except perhaps if I went into sales.

Since the show business questions remained in my mind, I reached out to my old agents and manager. The agents did not respond, but my old manager eventually did, and they told me that with the recent push for diversity, they likely could not get me much work. This was disheartening, and I moped about for a week. Now my prospects in both medicine and acting, the two industries in which I was trained, seemed to be dwindling. But after the sulking period ended, I decided that I would have to make my own way. I would put together some kind of an undeniably good live performance. And as I researched where I would be able to showcase such a thing, I ran across a nationwide casting call for a sketch comedy show. I applied and by whatever chance, a friend of mine was on the casting team. She vouched for me and I was a part of what turned out to be a pilot pitch. At this point, I am pretty sure that it was not picked up, but that situation made me realize that if I were cast, I would want to have a stash of sketches ready. And I learned that on SNL, some of the performers warmed up the crowd with some standup before the show started. All of these factors made me think that I needed to have some material ready, so I began work on that. I also had a night of drunken inspiration in which I wrote a pitch for a show. So on a given free day, I am writing either standup or sketches or that pilot in between auditions.

The most significant turning point came when that same comedian friend helped me get a role as an unpaid featured extra in a comedy show. This was the test that I needed to find out whether I missed the work or just the childhood nostalgia of living in Hollywood. And after around eleven hours of euphoria on set, I was once again hooked on the work, the craft. After thanking everyone who contributed, I spent the next few days posting my info on various casting websites. And shockingly, I booked jobs within a few weeks! This switch was in late October and in these couple months, I have dubbed over three foreign films, played the lead role in one comedic ad, portrayed a cult leader in a British documentary, used my contortionist skills as the bad guy in a short horror film, and played a corrupt chief of police in what might be a big deal of a production. Not to mention the part in a comedy that I have booked in late January.

What do I want to do in the new year? Well, I would like to maintain fitness, but that should be a given. I never make concrete plans, but I also have not felt quite this much freedom to be myself in years. So real goals... I want this pilot I am writing, which bends genres to a degree that feels impossible to do well, to be finished with a draft that I do not hate seeing. I want to like what I have written. With regard to showbiz, well, you cannot predict anything, but I want to have reached out to every connection I made twenty years ago, provided that I have some memory to bring up when I re-introduce myself. This is similarly outside of my power, but I would like to make enough money to be living financially independently. But in terms of what is within my control, I want to try harder at social media. It matters, and the best way to do it is to keep making content. So I just need to be more consistent in doing that.

This is the happiest and most hopeful I have felt in so long. I was so hesitant at first, but I keep getting positive feedback, so I am becoming convinced that I am not kidding myself. I was on a friend's podcast last night and he floated the idea of using his new branding company on me to get a testimonial as they launch. Could be something!

More of this Corrupt Chief of Police...

Yesterday, I reprised my role as a corrupt police chief. We spent the afternoon outside in the cold wind filming a scene involving memorized dialogue, making this the first time since I got back into acting that I actually had to put effort into memorizing a script. And my efforts proved to be crucial, because my scene partner improvised a lot, forcing me to adapt and make sure that we covered the pertinent information from the scene in a way that fit our characters. It was great fun, and, very importantly, it was impressive to the writer/director/creator. I also learned that she had been turning down real sponsors, which in her words was "taking care of my own" and although I do not see how turning down sponsors takes care of us, I surmised that I was indeed counted within that party of care. What we are currently filming will be used for a trailer at SXSW, and the presence of the actors there has been requested. When I asked again if she had any specific dates for it, she began with saying that we would go down there on March 8 or 9, but that our announcement would not be until the middle of the week (around the 15th). I currently find it hard to believe that we will be a big enough deal to merit so much time, but at the worst, my understanding is that I will get lodging paid for in another city for a few days, so that in itself is something. It would certainly be fun to do some press for it.

After we shot that exterior scene, we shot a brief interview about the actors behind the characters. Once again, it all feels presumptuous, but I had a few jokes ready for it that made it hard for the crew to suppress their laughs. Oh, and that was another major change; there was more than just one person in the crew. A sound woman, a cameraman, and his assistant who handled the drone as well.

I will admit now that whatever nostalgia I had felt about acting, that desire remains. But I do not care for auditions anywhere near as much as I did as a child. I obtained this role in the same manner that I obtained my first role as a child actor, through writing. My being a medical doctor was impressive to the creator of the project, enough to earn me the role. With that short horror film I did, my contortionist dance video earned me the role. For that short comedic advertisement I did awhile ago, I got that role just through a pre-recorded video and my history of improvised comedy. I will still be auditioning for roles as I am able, but it would be very nice if this police chief role turned out to be a very big deal that allowed me to skip the audition process in the future.

I just watched the clip from our last shoot with the smaller crew. I cannot stand it, but maybe it will look better when it all comes together as we announce it.

Two Gigs

On Sunday, I portrayed a Texan cult leader for a British documentary. It was neat! But I did not know the history of the situation well enough to be sure about what I was saying when locals at a bar recognized my portrayal, so I mostly kept quiet. The biggest anxiety leading up to the shoot was that the car I would be driving might be a manual transmission. I drove my brother's car a few days before to prepare for such an eventuality, and I would likely have been fine, but my relief was pronounced when I saw that the 1968 Camaro had an automatic transmission. No worries about a clutch in uphill traffic. Aside from the appreciation I had for working with Brits for a day, a great perk of that gig was that it paid $500, the most I have yet made for one day of work since getting back into acting.

Yesterday, I played the role of a corrupt chief of police for the filmed version of a comic book. It paid $15 per hour. It was for the purpose of a trailer, and we plan to shoot again soon. It has reportedly been picked up by a studio, and my appearance at SXSW has been requested for when they announce it. So it is low budget for now, but should go bigger by the fall of next year. And I get to play a very hated lead character. Even in my own writing, I am trying to dig into exploring that broken moral compass, so I look forward to doing so with this other character. I remember being confused when a girl I liked would say that something was right or wrong, and generally it was normal by my understanding, but then was occasionally way off, and it made me question how one's family and outside influences can change one's baseline morality. Right and wrong can sometimes seem fairly black and white for me, and my hope is that when my opinions change, it is based on facts and empathy. But what if one's entire perception is skewed and tainted from the start, so new facts and empathy still result in a twisted view?

Another Acting Gig Booked

I spent Monday and Tuesday a little under four hours away on the set of a short horror film. The set took the form of an Airbnb, the crew was the one writer/director/camera operator, and the cast included three of us, one of whom would not appear on camera. It was a fantastic fortuitous experience in which my contortionist skills were put to good use. Everyone on set was very nice and impressive in their roles. Best of all, the director emphasized that he wanted to keep in touch and collaborate in the future, and he has a specific role in mind for me. And given that he has gotten his work into film festivals in the past, I am cautiously optimistic about what this film could do.

Then I got a message about an audition from a website that I must have found through some social media ad. They preferred my longer hair, but my look was good enough that they booked me anyway. They confirmed with me that I could drive a manual transmission, which was true last I checked... but I obviously need to work on that before the shoot. Two days should be plenty to get my brother to let me take his car out for a spin.

And today, I am supposed to be playing the lead character in what they plan to make into a teaser trailer. I think that it is meant to be a pitch to get more funding. In any case, the shoot was meant to start hours ago and be winding down now, but all I have heard from them is that they are currently shooting and will let me know about my part afterward. So I have just continued working in this coffee shop, waiting for some word about where to go and when the shoot would happen...