Why I Ask

I am slowly remembering why I bother with the whole principle of asking God about a lady I like. The basic reason is that when it comes to any sort of commitment to and with another human, it is something that I do not wish to take lightly. In fact, I do not trust myself to make clear judgment in the area. After all, once the idea pops into your head that you like someone romantically, you are suddenly attempting to evaluate more than just their qualities and preferences against your own. You are trying to evaluate your own feelings, which tend to be thrown into a state of anxiety and fluidity at such a prospect.

In addition, my parents divorced. I do not believe that such an action should be contemplated, and their examples (and the fallout that still continues from the divorce) only affirm what Jesus had to say on the matter.

So thoughts have been creeping in as of late and planting their seeds. She is moving away. Even if she were not moving away, she is so much of what we (the various characters in my mind) have searched for that she is bound to go after some other guy if I refrain from making a move.

At this point, it is time to step back. Why did I ask God for His input on this? If it is because I trust in Him, then does it not stand to reason that He will instruct me as needed if she is the intended partner in this ministry called life? So the reality here is really the usual, that I should be focusing on God and what He is speaking, and if He wants something to happen here, He will make a way. If not, He will not, and there will be someone else. Or there will not, and I will go at this whole ministry thing like Paul, single until I die. So I need to rest in Him and what He has placed before me, because if I do that, I cannot lose. How can you lose if the one in charge of everything is the one telling you what to do?