I'm at this odd point now. Crush is singing at a benefit thing this weekend, and I will likely attend too because of its focus on local missions. I also told another friend (previously known as "too young crush") that I may attend their young adult small group that they recently started. Being involved, even insofar as attending ministry-oriented events, is a weird thing. It feels like muscle memory, like of course I know God and want to know Him more and all of that. Yet at the same time, I have been away from this environment for years; it feels corny. And almost as if it no longer fits.
This, I suppose, is the downside to my "field research", my more concentrated efforts at being all things to all men, with only a small emphasis on the "so that by all means I might save some". My efforts at seeing things from a worldly standpoint had me assuming that my previous view had been left behind with the passage of time and the changing of culture.
I suppose that this is due in large part to the white evangelical church's wide embrace of our current president. The distrust is very easy to place in the church (since they tipped the scales), and the ones who fought for good, for what Jesus taught, were the unsaved. So it was to the unsaved that I found some solace and an ability to relate.
Now that politics have somewhat died down, it feels as if it is time to return. Our witness as evangelical Christians was traded for a supreme court justice, and in the process, hopes were projected onto the human product which impressively manages to manifest many of the things that Jesus spoke most strongly against.
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