Oh Acting

It's selfish of me to look back now and realize that, had I stayed in the whole acting thing, I may have had a chance at the lead role in upcoming groundbreaking feature films. Yet the gravity of what I gave up to pursue this calling of being a doctor, it's hitting me. It's like a midlife crisis, realizing where I could have been if I did something different, and seeing where I am now, in danger of failing a class in med school.

I really like the idea of fame. Everywhere I've been, from the Austin Film Festival to high school to college, I've been well-known by most everyone. I try to be the type of guy that's good at being well-known. So as I made up alternate social networking accounts in preparation for this explosion of fame that's never coming, I guess it made sense that a conversation with a dear friend would remind me that I still don't know what the future holds, and that my other possible life would come to mind. I'm good looking enough to have made it in acting, I think. I'm certainly quirky enough that I might have been able to get that earlier Spider-Man role.

Of course, the kicker is that I probably wouldn't have become near as strong a Christian. And, of course, my friend groups and lifestyle would be entirely different. Terrance Heinz, my old agent in Burbank, said that the best actors don't make it big; they go to college. My brother wanted that, and the rest of us followed. But I always loved acting. That remained true for ages and ages, and still hasn't let up.

So now I suppose do wish for fame... That sounds super egotistical I guess, but I dunno, it's always just felt like how it was meant to be. Just fitting. I'm too many things in one human to just be limited to what one human would normally influence. But whatever.