Back On the Offensive

In my dream last night, I was at Alyssa's birthday party again, and her drunk uncle asked me the same question he had asked in real life. Who are you? He acted like he wouldn't accept a shallow answer. In actuality, I was vague. In my dream though, I was more specific,

"I'm a co-heir with Christ, the Son of God. I have within me the ability to be a legit superhero. The ability is in me to teleport, to fly. I can kill a thousand men with a bone. It is within me to lay hands on a person and see their body be healed of all illnesses. I'm a Christian."

I had forgotten about that dream until Prototype tonight. We're reading this book on being a man in the way God intended, and it's making me think of how wimpy my outlook on graduation has been. When I can't decide if having 37 more days of school is a good or bad thing, something is wrong. This attitude is a battle, and if I'm going in thinkin' of how junky my life is, then I'm losing. I found myself getting a lil' annoyed in the morning when I didn't have any intense prayer warring music. The best artists focus more on deep worship and being soft-toned, and I need to be getting mad at the devil for trying to crap up my friends and their effectiveness by giving them losing mindsets.

And God told me that He had to teach me stuff about the resurrection and junk, and now that the Easter thing is over, He's gonna start giving me fresh Words, including things for Kenya.

Big Brother Trouble

That Sunday night after the retreat, I was up till 4:30 AM doing homework and such, but God energized me. When I got to school, my One told the class (before the teacher got there) that she had quit smoking. Also, I had been praying for some guys (mainly Chad R.) to show off some Christian, and I was able to see it in him with the way he talked. That night, I began accountability with Alex, and he tends to rock out on guitar when he has his Word time.

The following day, I talked to my One when we both had a free period, and she and I talked about God-stuff. I told her about how I get upset at God occasionally, and it was a good talk. Then Caleb had to work late, so I stayed at home and dilly-dallied till it was time to go. Unfortunately, it was at this exact time that my dad decided that I needed to pick up some branches from the yard that he had trimmed. This was an hour's work, so I spent twenty minutes on it, and he allowed me to go to Prototype on the condition that I would do the work at 9:00 AM on Saturday morning. I reluctantly agreed. Prototype was great, as usual.

Wednesday, I had some good Word time at church, all about the way Jesus coped with the death of John the Baptist (Matthew 14, I think). I loved it. Then came the service, and a wonderful thing happened. Like five junior highers came up to the front for worship, and went all out. I was basically thanking and praising God for that for the entirety of worship, 'cause that's what I've been desiring forever. At the end of worship, Pastor Nick asked if anyone had a Word from God, and like eight people came up, more than half junior highers. One talked about cussing, and I was convinced that I should never let foul words out of my mouth. I talked to Pastor Nick and John Penry about ghosts later on that night, and I got my final answers on it. ZING!

Thursday, if I remember correctly, I slept. Good stuff.

Friday, we had a prayer team get-together, so we all met up at the McBride's house after school. It was here that Jordan revealed his plans and their confirmations. Mrs. Horan, after seeing the effect of the One Voice retreat, wanted/wants to have our own school retreat. We talked a lot about this, then I went to get a new hoodie from Old Navy (despite it being from Old Navy, it's still good). Following this, I was off to the Harbor to have some night of worship. They had some latino mixed in, which I was grudgingly fine with. Pastor Nick and Caleb invited me to go to a new restaurant in Royce City afterwards, where I had an expensive steak dinner (I had to search through my car for enough money to afford it).

Saturday, I woke up at 9:00 AM (maybe 9:30...) and finished picking up the branches. I spent the rest of the day up till around 6:00 PM working on college applications (which, by the way, take FOREVER for me). Then I was off to Cameron's Halloween costume party at CFNI, where I dressed as Nelson from "Undercover Kids". I danced the night away. Fun was had.

Sunday, I got to church, we had an SL meeting, then we went to the Meisters' home and had some Mexican (once again, grudgingly latino). I forced them to watch "Undercover Kids", and it became a classic once again. I went home immediately after, showered, had some Word time, met with Shayna, and then we had our small group at the park. Those junior highers are loads of fun. That night, I decided to buckle down and get some test corrections done. I was up for much of the night. I also became inspired in the middle of the night to write my essay for college applications on a completely different subject from what I had been planning to write on. Sound like God? Let's hope so.

Monday (yesterday), I showed the essay around, and it got widespread approval from the few I showed it to. Pastor Nick came and taught the Connect class, and he was great, but I have to discipline now by writing down the names of the talkers. How horrible! I went home after that, added to my essay, and worked at trying to understand Pre-Cal. False hope there. I also asked Alex if he wanted to go to Early Morning Prayer, and he said "yeah", which I wasn't expecting, so my courteous questioning recruited me to wake up early. It was good though.

If you start your mind out like that, it makes your head very clear afterward. This is good, 'cause I had to write an essay for Dual-Credit in first period. Unfortunately, I found out in Physics that Mr. Harber wouldn't accept the corrected test I had finished Sunday night (it took an hour or two), as it was late. That was funny *gritted teeth*. But really, grades are God's job. I'm just doing what I can to pitch in. The junior highers at school are loving me. Every time I see them, they all go in for a high-five and make some joke. It's good. Anyway, I have a test over Pre-Cal, and I still don't understand the concepts in the slightest. Joy!

Oh, and pray for my brother, Preston. He's what the Bible would call "shiftless". He doesn't have a passion or drive, so he's being lazy.

Wisdom Teeth

It looks like my blogs are turning into weekly ones. My apologies. Monday was a Monday, if I remember correctly, which means that I don't have much news from my morning classes. However, I was put in charge of the lesson for the Connect Class, so I talked about making plans, which I had been wanting to share in there for quite awhile. That went well, and with Alyssa P. there to be the mean one, I got to stay polite while she bossed the class around and got angry at them for acting their age. That night, I went to sleep at around eight, which was a pretty healthy choice.

I woke up at 5:00 AM to find a text from Bekah asking when early morning prayer is (she had sent it a few minutes after I had fallen asleep the previous evening). This reminded me to go, so go I did, and God showed me something cool about Mattew 10:9 (I think). Jesus is eating with the tax collectors and sinners, but he's also got all of his disciples there. This is how he reached out. He had his group of friends, and they mixed with another one over a meal and just hanging out. Anyway, I remembered on my way to school that I had devotions, and I whipped that lesson out, and it was a good save. That evening, I had Prototype. I asked Caleb all kinds of questions, all that have been asked to me and that I have been asking (one of which was ghosts). Prototype is always stinkin' awesome.

Wednesday, I had a bit of a late start. My main problem was that I fell asleep at 7:15 AM, with the intention of waking up ten minutes later. Unfortunately, I woke up three and a half hours later, which got me zeros for participation in my first three classes. That stank. But what was left of school was fine, and Paradigm was rockin'. One of the guys from the Connect Class, Tanner, came to Paradigm. He was one of the guys questioning a lot, so I was really happy to see him there.

Thursday, I looked good. Just sayin'. I went home after school, slept till around 6:30 PM, then took off for CFNI, where I met up with some bros from the ghetto ovah deya, and we carpooled to Trish's house in A-town, where we watched The Office. Watch was all we did, however, 'cause everyone was talking too much to hear anything from the episode. It did make me dream about ethics that night, though. We followed up that episode of The Office with some political SNL and Surf's Up. Both were adequate. No more, no less.

Friday was a day for the ages. Priscilla, mom, and I, up bright and early, drove over to the Baylor Oral Surgery place. It wasn't long before I was strapped down (he said that it wasn't to hold me down, but who knows), and he had stabbed me a few times trying to get his anesthesia in me. He was successful in his endeavors, or so I assume, for the next time I awoke, I was being helped out of my chair, and to the door. Something was apparently amiss, as the doctor told me awhile later, for my face had gone terribly green and pale, so they stabbed me with another iv and had me chug some fluids through my arm. It was delicious. We all headed home, me half-asleep and throwing up a lil' blood (not much, don't worry) into a lil' vomit-holder. We soon arrived home, and I went to sleep, waking up only to eat a lil' something, drink a milkshake, or make a video.


Saturday, having been off the drugs since the evening before, I aspired to go to Tynan Barlow's birthday party. Unfortunately, the only other people there were geeky homeschoolers, and, however drugged up I had been, I couldn't endure talk about which NES game was the best video game of all time. So I texted Jake, and he told me to come over (he lives next-door). I hung out with him and his cousin Eli until midafternoon, at which point I was invited to go to the Heath Homecoming Dance. I was glad to, partially for myself, partially for my sister, who would be at this dance, and be even more drugged up than I (she with hydrocodine, me with ibuprofen). It was a fun dance, and we broke up a few grind trains by shaking our fingers and singing, "Inappropriate, inappropriate". However, I went home and crashed, and was in a terrible fit of pain, for, as some of you may know, doing things the day after surgery makes your face hurt like crap.

When I got to church today, everyone laughed at how my face looked like a chipmunk. Trish, particularly, could not go one second without laughing at me, and she was around me for many a second. I talked to Shayna about small groups, and we both didn't feel like we should talk about the "Empty Seat", which was our planned discussion. We instead decided to talk about that verse that God had shared with me earlier in the week. I went home from there, ate Ramen (my primary sustenance at the moment), and napped. When I got to small groups, I told Shayna that I thought that God wanted us to keep on with the "Empty Seat" thing, and I explained how it could tie in with the discussion. This finished, our small group played some English game, which turned into freeze tag, then we ate some ice cream sandwiches, and, finally, had our discussion. Molly Howard is proving to be one of the more outgoing of the group, and the only guy tonight, Sam, proved to be exceptional at distracting himself. After small groups, I went home, did some work, took mo' ibuprofen, and am now getting ready for bed. This week is homecoming week. I'm dressing as a frog who needs a kiss to turn into a prince. I'll be asking for kisses all day tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Servant's Heart

Alright, I waited too long to update. I'm six days behind. Let's see... Tuesday, I DIDN'T go to Early Morning Prayer ('cause I forgot and get tired). I went to Prototype, which, thank heavens, meets at Starbucks now, so when I wake up from my nap, and drive half-asleep to talk about God, I'm wide awake by the end of it. That Prototype was delicious. Caleb is asking real accountability questions, stuff that we actually deal with. This comes through his genius idea of asking us what we wanna be asked. I mentioned that I had had lots of talks with God about small groups, and he was like "Oh yeah, you're leading a junior high small group, right?", and I told him "no", and that I was working with God on getting back to a servant's heart.

The next day, we had the swearing in of the student council, which was a big day for me, 'cause I officially lost my title as president. *sigh*. My Myspace display name has once again been forced to change, and my lil' signature on all my emails had to change too. Now I'm a friggin' historian, which just means that I'm old and I wear spectacles (and call them "spectacles" instead of "glasses"). After school, I was trying to think of ways to help our Paradigm leaders out more (the servant's heart was gonna take some effort, right?), and the perfect opportunity arose when Pastor Tim asked the SLs to try to get to church early to help send out newsletter things. Lots of folding, stapling, and stamping was accomplished there. Cassie slacked off, so when I worked the Hot Spot, I was pretty alone. Pastor Nick asked me to take more pictures for the small group booklet, and I did so, which pleased his majesty. Sam pulled me to the side and warned me that Sarah, to whom I had been giving advice lately, was a manipulative person, who would try to feed of emotional highs, so I should watch out. I normally would disregard such talk, but this is coming from Sam, who's quite a reputable source, and doesn't like to make up rumors. Also, Shadow (our only black adult leader) asked me if I had gotten a haircut, and I realized that several church people had asked that very same question of me, and I think I found the answer to why. It's the small but important difference between bandanna-ing your hair, and straightening it.

Thursday, I came to realize that Mr. Harber had it out for me, at least that week. No matter who had been previously talking, or even who else was talking at the same time, I was the only one who got called out in class. Well, me and Jordan, but Jordan is kind of a given. Hopefully it'll stop next week, 'cause if it doesn't, then I'm just gonna quit listening to the stuff he says, read ahead in the book, understand it fully, then work on other things. In other news, I think I'm back on Mr. Beaumont's good side. I wrote a really good essay (with big words) that included a long description of myself (which I can't describe very accurately without a large vocabulary), and I'm pretty sure that he was impressed. After school, I mowed the yard at my dad's office (I hadn't mowed the week before, and my dad had told me that I would be grounded this week, but I asked for a way to be able to go to the movies on Friday, and he said that mowing at the office and at home would redeem my soul), then headed home to shower, and traveled off to Andrew's house to watch the season premier of The Office (POOR TOBY, YAY FOR JIM AND PAM, UNSURE ABOUT ANDY, ANGELLA, AND DWIGHT). After watching it, I talked with Cameron, Jillian, Zach Shey, and Andrew about the latest CFNI gossip. I knew more than Zach, and he freaked out about it. And we danced to a song by Kings Of Leon called "Sex On Fire", and debated whether it was describing an STD, a gender, or an uncomfortable way to go about the reproduction process. After we finished, I went home and perhaps fell asleep.

Friday, I went to school. Impressed? Mr. Beaumont quizzed us on quotes from an essay that we all read, but didn't memorize, so we didn't score as highly as we could have, had we known that memorizing the entire essay would get us the A that we wanted. Jordan and I discussed who else would go on our road trip, and we decided that Rush would be the choice, but then we rethought it, and came to agree that we'd have to see fruit from him first. 'Cause there's no doubt that he should be one of the people leading it. This would depend, of course, upon him actually leading in the right direction. After school, I went home, dilly-dallied, and planned to go play Hide-N'-Go Seek at 8:00 pm, but I fell asleep at 6:00 pm, and didn't wake up till the next day (which is an hour earlier than last week's Friday night).

Saturday, I woke up at 9:00 am, and I did little stupid things, watched as Alexandra prepared for homecoming with the help of Meagan Mulcher, who was dating Preston, but now I think they've broken up. I dunno. I got a text from Pastor Nick reminding small group leaders to come to their lil' orientation thing at second service, and I asked him if I should make an appearance, and replied "Duh". I went to see Eagle Eye with Jordan, Hiro, Michelle, and Rush. I told Michelle that since she was the only girl, she had to make comments about how cute Shia LeBeouf was, even if she didn't particularly favor his Jewish charm. She complied in the beginning, but gradually decided to form her own opinions (THE NERVE!). That was plenty fun. Then I went to spend the night at Jordan's house, and he, Hiro, and I talked some. Apparently Hiro had seen ghosts, and we explained how ghosts are demons, but he's having a tough time getting a grip on everything, so it's kinda tough for him. We left like fifteen voicemails on Michelle's phone on our way to Jordan's house ('cause what else would we do for twenty minutes?). By the time we got to Jordan's house, we were too tired to do anything, so we just went to sleep (retarded, huh?).

This morning (Sun- to the -day), I awoke at 8:00 am, thought that it was too early, despite not being tired, so I waited half an hour, then got up and got ready. I worked on helping Hiro to say the word "really" instead of saying "wee'wree". Then I was off to learn about small groups, and learn that I was apparently leading a junior high small group with Shayna and Kirk. I've been wanting to hang out with Shayna. Maybe her smarts from being 4th in her class at Rockwall High will rub off on me. Next was the SL meeting, followed by the SL lunch, which was held at the Meisters' own apartment. I'm working on getting to know these younger SLs. There are a bunch of new recruits, and they're all excited about Frank Peretti (that's likely to be a typo) and the movies based on his books. There's one movie that they talked about called "Bells of Innocence", and when they talked about it, I informed them that I have several roles in that movie, and they were amazed. I felt quite impressive too. Oh my, I flatter myself so!

One Thing Brightens The Bleak

Thursday, I went to Prototype, where Caleb bought me Starbucks, which kept me awake through the day. I talked to him about our senior trip to South Padre Island, where he had gone with a group of guys once, so he was able to tell me all about the island. Following that, I saw a truck that was on fire. It was pretty blazin' hot. Then I went to The Harbor, 'cause my dad and sister were there, and that, in my mind, means a free meal. So, needless to say, I ate some delicious Ruby Tuesdays that night.

Friday, I told Jordan, Paco, and Newman about the senior trip, and they were all excited about it. After school, I went over to the McDonalds' house, where Paco and Hiro (the Japanese foreign exchange student) were staying, and spent most of the day hanging out over there. When it got to be later in the night, I took Hiro to my house so I could get some clothes, then we picked Jordan up from work and headed to his house. I introduced Hiro to the Wii and all three of us just hung out and had fun that night and on into the afternoon the next day.

Saturday, after leaving Jordan's house, I went back home, and, despite having slept till 11:30 AM, I felt dead tired, so I slept through the evening until church the next morning.

Sunday, I went to church a lil' late, but that was alright, 'cause it was rally day. Popcorn for the kids in Children's Church was delicious. Following church, I went with Rugged Texas Landscape (Andrew when he has a sparse beard) to lunch with a few other people at Buffet City, then to Rugged Texas Landscape's house to watch some deleted scenes from The Office. From there, we went to play tennis in Royse City, then to get Italian ice. That tasted good, but made my teeth look like crap. I went to Rally Night, where some student leaders came with me, and we demanded for Pastor Nick to tell us who would be leading small groups, but he just told us to email him who we would like to be partnered with for it. I did so.

Today, Monday, marked my first horrible, horrible, horrible grade. The Physics test wasn't too bad, and time flew by while I took it. When I went to eat lunch at Jack's, the Black Hole group, most of which I had seen changed at YFN, spent the entire time making fun of female teachers' "accessories". It made me feel terribly uncomfortable, and maybe I should have walked out, but I wanted to wait and see one of them changing the subject and simply stop talking about it. But no such fortune was mine today. The talk just got more and more dirty, and as I went back to the school, I just felt horrible for what I had heard. I wrote Alex a note the next period, since he's the one who had confided in my during YFN, and I had poured into him, so I figured that I owed him that. I need to ask God whether to do similar for Rush. That put a damper on the next two periods. First thing in Civil War class, Mr. Beaumont passed out quizes on the first chapter of the book for the class, and, since none of us had read it, we all failed. I failed miserably. I doubt if I can even get an A in that class, and it's an Honors class. But I gave it to God right then, so it couldn't fester and open a doorway, 'cause it totally would. But it woke me up to the fact that I need to be dead serious about school. I'm glad that I gave that to God right then, 'cause the next class was the Connect class. The teacher didn't show, so, after spending half of the period playing hangman with Bible verses, I taught on the next section in the little booklet. It was good. Those guys totally wanna have a serious relationship with God.