How Many Voices? One Voice.

Rather than tell about my day-by-day, despite how good they were, I just wanna share about the retreat, and what led up to it, 'cause it's gonna be a long enough blog anyway. That is, except for one thing. Last week was homecoming week at school. On Wednesday, I dressed as Mr. Beaumont.



Alright, Friday is when it began. On second thought, that's not entirely true. That's when the physical manifestation began, 'cause, of course, the inward incubation was going on long beforehand. God had been telling me things during worship every Wednesday, and, fed up with sitting around while younger girl leaders stepped up to the plate, I started telling these things to Pastor Nick. Unfortunately, none of what God told me was applying to the services. I was still desiring the supernatural, the spiritual gifts and whatnot, not so much for myself (but definitely not excluding me), but for Paradigm.

God told me that spiritual gifts would be poured out on the retreat (that's a prophetic word, by the way, a gift of the spirit), so I've been praying faithfully every morning for that to happen. I've also been praying for my One every morning. These prayers were sounding worthless to me, though. God kept telling me things during the service that didn't apply, so why would He keep me right on track for the retreat? And my One? There's no encouragement there. The most positive response I've gotten out of her is "I still love you, but I don't want anything to do with God," (friend love, not another kind). I've also been praying for Chad R., for him to step up in leadership, for Alex, that purity would fill his speech, and for my small group, but all seemed worthless. I kept at it, listening to sermons by Pastor Benny Perez a lot, 'cause I needed some encouragement, particularly in the areas of spiritual gifts.

Back to Friday. Pastor Tim asked me to direct traffic (to keep people from going into the back parking lot). Unfortunately, it was hot outside, but I wasn't about to disobey my pastor, no sir-ee-bob (spell check?), so I did so with cunning and style, not to mention pizzaz. Rest assured, everyone that mattered went to the front. Following this, we had our bus ride. There was some confusion, 'cause we had Mrs. Newman and a driver who had to be paid by the hour, with buses that were rented by the mile. Naturally, as I later found out, the hired bus driver took the longest route possible, which turned out two-hour drive into a four-hour one. Plus, Mrs. Newman's bus broke down, forcing all of Paradigm to fit in one bus. Three to a seat, not to mention several of us who didn't get a seat (I managed to have a third of a cheek on one, but that doesn't count). We got to the camp and did some good worship. My expectations could have been quite low for Matt Duhon, but I didn't want to be distracted by that during worship, since he would be leading all weekend, so I gave it to God and tried to give him a chance. Worship was great, but Matt Duhon did talk in the middle of it about God killing someone 'cause it was their last chance to come back. I gave this to God too. 'Cause after all, what if that's actually what someone needed to hear? At least he had boldness. Still, I didn't approve of it.

Saturday, I woke up in plenty time for a shower. Many of us had weathered many a retreat, and expected everyone else to bring shower supplies (shampoo, soap, etc.). I kicked it up a notch, though, and didn't bring a towel. But they had plenty of paper towels, so I rinsed, used paper towels to dry off, then borrowed a normal towel for my hair. For the morning session and all the sessions onward, Pastor Adam McCain spoke. He spoke on resisting temptation, and how his best friend first in high school, then on into Bible school, was a better speaker and basically better at being a Christian than Pastor Adam, but he didn't know how to resist temptation, and it led to him being a piece of crap. Hiro couldn't understand what he was saying, but he definitely understood Pastor Adam's crazy body language. Worship was definitely good in there, too, and God definitely was a part of it. Then we had free time, but I spent most of it at a giant swing. I'm sorry about that typo, 'cause it was THE giant swing. This thing was a monster, double-seater, pulley-enhanced, rocket that shot you over a pit of death, then pulled you right back in before you lose your soul. I went on this crazy contraption with Shadow (Adam Williams). The weight difference, of course, was massive (I weighed roughly 100 pounds less), so when we went up, I got the thrill of shooting down at an accelerated speed without the harness's tugging being too unpleasant for my important lower areas. Good times there, good times.

(Courtesy of ProjectNemeth.com)

Then came the service. I felt out of it during pre-service prayer, and I asked God about it, but He said that He didn't want me to feel like I was flowing perfectly with all of it. So when it was time to worship, I kicked it up a notch and went nuts, giving all of that to God physically, mentally, and spiritually (which is how I try to worship, not to mention in spirit and in truth). Pastor Nick came up and gave words to a few people from on-stage, words that he was supposed to share earlier, but he had been uncomfortable about it. I was surprised. After more heart-gutting worship, Pastor Adam spoke on the power of the Holy Spirit. Doing things as Jesus did them. And doing greater than Jesus had done. He told all kinds of stories, and he later apologized for taking up ministry time with his talking, but I was glad to hear them, 'cause it was a good faith-booster. The main thing that I learned was when he talked about the first time a demon had ever come to him. His parents were on a plane to Europe for a missions trip, and he was all alone in the house, in his room. In the middle of the night, a demon appeared in the corner of the room, and said, "Your parents aren't here now. Can you defend yourself?" And he tried to pray it away, but nothing worked, until God told him to just worship with all he had, and as soon as he did so (in his underwear), the demon left. Now I know what to do if I ever encounter such a problem. Ministry time came after he spoke, and all the people who hadn't been baptized in the Holy Spirit were asked to come forward for prayer from the adult leaders and interns. Those leaders, in turn, were told to prophesy, speak words of knowledge, and all that jazz. I didn't feel left out at all, not being one of those. I did feel like I was to lead that night more than I was to follow. Then I saw Alex standing on the other side of the room in between those praying and the chairs, with his arms crossed, and his head tilted down. God told me to go hug him. Some doubt entered my mind, going back to all those services where I had had words that weren't quite pertinent to what God was doing at the time, but honestly, it just came down to me not feeling like it. Then Alex sat down, arms still crossed, on the carpet. I finally decided to go and hug him. Obeying that one command allowed me to do real altar ministry for the first time. I had done some in The Core and a lil' as a student leader, but I already had a relationship with Alex, so there was something more to it. Anyway, all I had done was hugged him, and sat hugging him until Pastor Tim took us both to the side and he began to talk to Alex, and ask him specific questions. Then he turned it over to me, 'cause Alex didn't wanna be confessing things to him, and we talked, and prayed, and hugged, and God was definitely in there. Following this, Chad R. found me and told me that my prayer time was not in vain. That things were happening because of my prayers. He also told me that all the things God had been telling me to tell people, I didn't need to be taking to someone over me. I was supposed to go directly to the people and tell them. Then God told me to tell Isaiah and Wesley, two junior high guys who were messing around in the back a lil' bit, that God wanted to talk to them, so they need to read their Bibles every night. As cheezy as that sounded, I thought of how I almost disobeyed God about hugging Alex, so I went and told the two of them what God had said. This was followed by more good worship ("Oh taste and see that the Lord is good"), then a bonfire, where I ate s'mores.

This morning (Sunday), we went to our last session. Awesome worship, once again, followed by Pastor Adam talking about hearing the One Voice, and how to keep things from getting in the way of hearing it. After he spoke, we broke up into groups and talked and prayed first about what different things keep us from hearing God. Then we prayed for God to show us something to help us with our Ones. He hasn't shown me yet, but it's a'comin'. Following all of this, we ate lunch, got back on the buses (notice that the word is plural this time), and got back in around three hours. I saw Katie and Michelle when I got off, and that took me off-guard, but it was the good kind of off-guard, so I worked with it. Also, I'm crazy-sore, thanks to that worship, so walking is a challenge in itself. On the bright side, I think that God brought a lot of healing to my mouth, 'cause Priscilla's mouth sounds worse off than mine, even though my surgery was supposed to be worse, in terms of pain and recovery. Also, my ear (not the ear canal, but the ridge above it that curves around) had gotten all swollen the past few weeks, and I would squeeze it ('cause every swollen thing pops like a pimple, right?), and clear junk would come out, but it would get right back to being tender and swollen afterwards. The other day, though, I reached up to feel it. I knew that it might be tender, so I was very careful to touch ever so lightly. Well, as soon as I had barely touched it, it spit out green mucousy stuff. That may sound gross, but here's what I think happened. I think that as soon as I did the laying on of hands, even though it wasn't for that purpose, God healed it, and made the infection spew right out. It's fully healed now. I'm writing this paper at 1:40 AM (I started writing it like an hour and a half ago), so I'd best get off to start homework. I didn't wanna skip out on this blog.

Wisdom Teeth

It looks like my blogs are turning into weekly ones. My apologies. Monday was a Monday, if I remember correctly, which means that I don't have much news from my morning classes. However, I was put in charge of the lesson for the Connect Class, so I talked about making plans, which I had been wanting to share in there for quite awhile. That went well, and with Alyssa P. there to be the mean one, I got to stay polite while she bossed the class around and got angry at them for acting their age. That night, I went to sleep at around eight, which was a pretty healthy choice.

I woke up at 5:00 AM to find a text from Bekah asking when early morning prayer is (she had sent it a few minutes after I had fallen asleep the previous evening). This reminded me to go, so go I did, and God showed me something cool about Mattew 10:9 (I think). Jesus is eating with the tax collectors and sinners, but he's also got all of his disciples there. This is how he reached out. He had his group of friends, and they mixed with another one over a meal and just hanging out. Anyway, I remembered on my way to school that I had devotions, and I whipped that lesson out, and it was a good save. That evening, I had Prototype. I asked Caleb all kinds of questions, all that have been asked to me and that I have been asking (one of which was ghosts). Prototype is always stinkin' awesome.

Wednesday, I had a bit of a late start. My main problem was that I fell asleep at 7:15 AM, with the intention of waking up ten minutes later. Unfortunately, I woke up three and a half hours later, which got me zeros for participation in my first three classes. That stank. But what was left of school was fine, and Paradigm was rockin'. One of the guys from the Connect Class, Tanner, came to Paradigm. He was one of the guys questioning a lot, so I was really happy to see him there.

Thursday, I looked good. Just sayin'. I went home after school, slept till around 6:30 PM, then took off for CFNI, where I met up with some bros from the ghetto ovah deya, and we carpooled to Trish's house in A-town, where we watched The Office. Watch was all we did, however, 'cause everyone was talking too much to hear anything from the episode. It did make me dream about ethics that night, though. We followed up that episode of The Office with some political SNL and Surf's Up. Both were adequate. No more, no less.

Friday was a day for the ages. Priscilla, mom, and I, up bright and early, drove over to the Baylor Oral Surgery place. It wasn't long before I was strapped down (he said that it wasn't to hold me down, but who knows), and he had stabbed me a few times trying to get his anesthesia in me. He was successful in his endeavors, or so I assume, for the next time I awoke, I was being helped out of my chair, and to the door. Something was apparently amiss, as the doctor told me awhile later, for my face had gone terribly green and pale, so they stabbed me with another iv and had me chug some fluids through my arm. It was delicious. We all headed home, me half-asleep and throwing up a lil' blood (not much, don't worry) into a lil' vomit-holder. We soon arrived home, and I went to sleep, waking up only to eat a lil' something, drink a milkshake, or make a video.


Saturday, having been off the drugs since the evening before, I aspired to go to Tynan Barlow's birthday party. Unfortunately, the only other people there were geeky homeschoolers, and, however drugged up I had been, I couldn't endure talk about which NES game was the best video game of all time. So I texted Jake, and he told me to come over (he lives next-door). I hung out with him and his cousin Eli until midafternoon, at which point I was invited to go to the Heath Homecoming Dance. I was glad to, partially for myself, partially for my sister, who would be at this dance, and be even more drugged up than I (she with hydrocodine, me with ibuprofen). It was a fun dance, and we broke up a few grind trains by shaking our fingers and singing, "Inappropriate, inappropriate". However, I went home and crashed, and was in a terrible fit of pain, for, as some of you may know, doing things the day after surgery makes your face hurt like crap.

When I got to church today, everyone laughed at how my face looked like a chipmunk. Trish, particularly, could not go one second without laughing at me, and she was around me for many a second. I talked to Shayna about small groups, and we both didn't feel like we should talk about the "Empty Seat", which was our planned discussion. We instead decided to talk about that verse that God had shared with me earlier in the week. I went home from there, ate Ramen (my primary sustenance at the moment), and napped. When I got to small groups, I told Shayna that I thought that God wanted us to keep on with the "Empty Seat" thing, and I explained how it could tie in with the discussion. This finished, our small group played some English game, which turned into freeze tag, then we ate some ice cream sandwiches, and, finally, had our discussion. Molly Howard is proving to be one of the more outgoing of the group, and the only guy tonight, Sam, proved to be exceptional at distracting himself. After small groups, I went home, did some work, took mo' ibuprofen, and am now getting ready for bed. This week is homecoming week. I'm dressing as a frog who needs a kiss to turn into a prince. I'll be asking for kisses all day tomorrow. Wish me luck!