25 hours.

In 25 hours, I leave this country that I have so learned to appreciate in the past several months. It was during the last year that I discovered my body's almost allergic reaction to patriotic movies, causing me to become misty-eyed at particularly stirring moments in spite of my perfect mental health and stoic persona. Soon, I will be living in a new country. On an island. With new humans. I will go into it knowing no one and working harder than I've ever worked in my life. Or else I won't achieve the calling that God has for me. But in defiance against all counselors and advisors of note in my life, God has so far prevailed. Or, at least, told me to keep working.

So now I'm considerably packed and am becoming more and more apprehensive of what's to come. But unlike with my trip to Europe, I'm not actively disliking this. It'll be a shock to get myself back into hardcore healthy academic life, but after my last year as an undergrad and this past gap year, I'm pretty sure I can do anything.

Say what you will about gap years and living life as an adult, but it grows you. And even if you do things wrong (like not work on relationships or go to church or ever leave your house), you can learn from it and appreciate where you are now.

There are so many questions and ideas scattered in my mind that I've been putting off 'cause it's so much to think of, especially since I've put off all such thoughts for the three months since I've been back. How will I sing without a car and without a regular Christian chapel service during the week? Is there karaoke (I just checked and yes, on Monday nights not far from my school). What about love? Will I find it? If so, how many? How soon will I have to change my Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/everything else to private because doctors can't have fun on social media? Will I like rum? Will I be taller than my roommate? Will I be the token white dude in friend groups at this school that appears to be largely attended by Arab humans? Will I learn to scuba dive?