The charismatic in me fights the other me for control when it comes to spiritual stuff. And stuff that doesn't have to be spiritual, but could be. I've hung around enough relatively normal baptisty types that I would prefer everything to be more simple, for the lil' feelings and nudgings I get to just be that, rather than the Holy Spirit trying to talk to me. Yet it remains, and when I go on mission trips, I cling to it. But when I'm not...
I just don't always know what to do with myself. I liked being a superChristian, but I'm pretty sure that no one else did. I like having high standards, working hard, and focusing on God, but I also like relating to people and not coming across as judgmental.
I just feel like pressure may not be on now, but I'll have to choose at some point just how committed I am to thinking one way or the other. Or maybe it's seasonal. Who knows?
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