Discipline

Fun fact: I don't know how to unfollow people on here. So if you happen to be a bloggist who has to write something incredibly super-spiritual and poetic for every post, maybe tone it down or something, 'cause I have a hard time reading sappy stuff that just seems like Christianeze vomit. WHOOPS, am I allowed to say that?

I'm having trouble with discipline. Prepping for the Talent Show, I was having to work out most days of the week, and I ended up being really impressive with what I was able to do. But after it was done, I didn't wanna leave behind what I had gained. 'Cause really, I'm the most balanced I've been since, well, at least before college, but quite possibly ever. Working out just helps a guy become more stable. It also got me onto a more regular schedule, helped me to eat better, and basically just made me really disciplined overall.

And now the Talent Show is gone, and it's harder to have a reason to do it all. Granted, I imagine all the countless videos I watched full of impossibly flexible and muscular people doing all kinds of dances, and thinking that I might possibly be able to do something akin to that certainly helps me get fired up. But with no show, no performance, I have no deadline. I'm back to school. One of the only things really keeping me at it similarly to the past few weeks is force of habit, which can make me go to the gym after a 3-hour lab goes way overtime.

I guess it just comes back to thoughts of mission trips. After all, everything I'm learning at this school (despite what my professors think) is aimed towards that. I want to be able to be dropped off in the middle of nowhere with just a Bible and the Lord leading me, and be as useful as possible. The thing is, without a deadline, I waste time. Without a trip in mind, or with it off in the distance, I don't concentrate on dancing, working out, learning to juggle, or any other number of things that I really would love to focus on. Rather, Organic Chemistry, Physics, biology research, and the day-to-day troubles fill my head.

I need to remain disciplined. I know I can be, and that it's making me into who I want to be. The me I am when I'm disciplined is the me I've been wishing I could be, and I love it.