The Finality Of Loneliness

When I parted ways with the mission team I traveled with to Belarus, it felt abrupt. We had just exited the shuttle taking us from the plane on the runway to the baggage claim area and I realized that connecting flights were in the opposite direction from where the team was going. We all hugged and I took the escalator up until the ten Americans (well, one Mexican) were out of sight. The finality of the loneliness I felt was unexpected, and it slammed into place like stone walls around me. Thoughts of "I'm the only person I know on this side of the world" kept bursting and reverberating in my skull, and it was all I could do to keep walking and begin searching for my terminal. This thought wasn't even accurate, as I had friends in Ireland and France, but a panicking mind skirts around such major details in the name of making a body unhappy.

I made it to my terminal alright. I made it from the airport to my B&B alright (though $41 lighter). I made it from there to the bus stop alright. And finally, I made it to Dublin to meet with the family of the doctor I work for. And in the midst of my panicking about not having a place to stay that night, with St Patty's Day driving prices to five or ten times what I would normally be paying, kind people made room in their home for me.

And now a couchsurfing host has replied to me, so I have places to stay in Glasgow (and Belfast, before I go on to Scotland). I may have a chance to meet some members of a band I fancy called The Youth And The Young as well.

All is well and I am excited for what The Lord has in store for me in the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months.

First Few Days

I am sorry that I haven't been posting on here since I began my adventure. It's hard to believe that I've only arrived on Saturday night. I'm currently sitting in a room in a lovely Irish home where a family has taken me in for the past two nights. They have fed me as well, so my biggest recent expense was just bus fare and a pint of Guinness. I've truly been blessed here.

My first day here was Sunday. After a traditional Irish breakfast at the B&B where I stayed, I met up with the family of the doctor I work for. They paid for my meals and for my ticket to the Guinness brewery which, by the way, is a glorious place. There are free samples throughout the building, and it is a system that could be abused if you've a mind to. At the top, they pour you a pint and make a shamrock shape in the cream at the top.

Yesterday, I went to the local St Patrick's Day parade. There was free barbecue, as the local butcher had a pig on a spit that lasted the town through the afternoon. I took video for the family I stayed with, a small effort toward paying them back for their hospitality. I also visited the pubs later that night. They were sadly quite empty, since this area is mostly parents with small children, but I did manage to get a free pint for being Texan. The second pint at the next pub was full price though. Still delicious nonetheless.

I have so much that I'd like to see and do that I have little patience for writing or video editing. I know that I need to though. Hopefully I'll be able to stop myself when I get to Belfast.

March 14, 2014

Today, we held a leadership conference. Fortunately, I was not speaking at this event. Unfortunately, I continued to have my travel head cold, so I only stayed for some of the conference before taking a medicated nap.

After the conference, we all went to downtown Minsk to shop and eat. I bought nothing due to my love for thriftiness, the lack of desirable items, and the adventure that is to come tomorrow. However, I did partake of the food, and it was wondrous. Potato can be cooked, steamed, fried, and many other edible preparing verbs. I ingested many such verbed potatoes in ye olde Belarusian tradition. In the same tradition, I also stared at pretty girls, and they stared back, which in this country apparently equates to light flirting. That's been my style of flirting for eons, so I'm glad I'm not the only one.

March 13, 2014

Today, we went to a cancer hospital to bring comfort to patients there. My last experience as a missionary working in hospitals was in Uganda, so this was a big step up. These children and youths were actually receiving good treatment. The difficult part wasn't seeing their conditions (they mostly just looked bald but okay); rather, it was difficult for me to pray healing for them. I was the first one asked to pray, and the whole "by Your stripes we are healed" thing didn't seem to cut it. I know something of how cancer works, and it's difficult to imagine God just fixing it. But I suppose that that's why it's called faith. In any case, my first prayer for a sick child seemed lacking to me, though The Lord will use it as He wills. I NEED to have faith in God's healing power. I don't want to work alone in medicine, without The Lord blessing every bit of it. 

I have been congested all day. The medications will work for a short time, but they mostly just make me drowsy. I didn't realize that the steroid nasal spray I'm using isn't supposed to take effect for a week, so I have until Wednesday to expect real results there. 

We went to the English Speaking Club after the hospital. Despite being congested, I knew that I would likely be the center of attention because that tends to happen. I was right. When we broke into groups to discuss our dreams, I was fortunate enough to be grouped with the prettiest girls. Not that it matters...but I'm just sayin. 

On the morrow, we have a leadership conference. I was asked to speak a few weeks ago, but I don't know if that's changed at all. If I AM speaking, I have some work to do on my message to turn it into something for pastors and leaders. It might be intended for them, really. It seems like it would be. Still, to make the words matter to people, I have to include myself in the message, which is something I often refrain from doing. 

March 11, 2014

We're on our way to Mogilev here in Belarus. After seeing castles and things yesterday, I was surprised that their biggest attractions here were only 500 years old. One must wonder whether it was all destroyed during WWII or if it could be attributed to something else.

There is still a strong communistic influence in the government and the pastor'a wife tells us that since churches tend to be filled with free thinkers, the government doesn't easily allow new churches to start. 

We are careful not to post too much in the way of spiritual things on Facebook for fear of the government watching. We don't expect it, but the possibility remains, and none of us are gung-ho about the idea of going to prison here. 

March 8, 2014 in flight from NY to Frankfurt

It's the first day of the big journey, and it has indeed been a long day. An hour of sleep the night before leaving, then maybe an hour or two since then. I'm currently flying over the Atlantic Ocean, about to pass over Ireland on our way to Frankfurt. I've had the pleasure of sitting next to two Scottish lasses on this flight, and their accents remind me of why I dreamed up this expedition in the first place. Meet and interact well with people of other cultures, and experience real freedom in traveling. I've been worrying so much about finding places to sleep and such when really, The Lord will provide as long as I am willing and able and active. 

I've been stressing about everything from packing (turns out you can bluff your way through the carry-on weight trouble) to preaching the morning after we arrive in Minsk to whether I've even been a good enough Christian to be an effective missionary this week. But if I take a lesson from the very sermon I'm preaching, we are credited righteousness by faith alone. As long as I put my complete hope and trust in Christ (and, of course, recognize my vulnerabilities therein), He will use me as He wills. 

Pastor Nick had told me once that he can't help talking to people about God because when they ask what he does for a living, the conversation naturally turns to matters of faith. I've found similar results with regard to this trip. I've also found that if I try to be friendly and start conversations, the conversations always flow well and I make friends. A year ago, I was unwilling to be so comfortable in conversation, but after working as a medical assistant, I've learned to guide encounters to be pleasant for all involved. 

The best part of all is that feeling that creeps up once in awhile when I stop on the plane or am preparing a sermon; this is what I was made to do. The distractions and stress have been too prevalent for me to feel it as before, but it's there, and I'm excited to live it out. 

God wants to do much with me this week, as evidenced by how much the Enemy worked to stress and distract me for the two weeks preceding the trip. 

Just A Few Days Away

Just a few days away from my trip now. I've felt very unprepared.

I'm trying to work on these sermons since I preach on Sunday, but I feel like I need to come up with more because I also speak that Friday. Theres a message forming in my mind about standards, but it hasn't solidified in such a way as to be preached on yet.

I had a kinda stressful dream last night about being in Venice and not finding the group I'm with or a place to stay. This is likely because I finally gave in and bought a hotel room for my first night in Dublin, but am still holding out for something free/cheap for the rest of my time in the area.

Also, I still haven't bought the backpack I'll be living out of. For all their popularity, REI does not seem to have near as much selection as what I'd like.

I have two videos I'd very much like to edit before I leave, but the likelihood is decreasing...

Better writings hopefully soon to come.