Can I talk about fear for a second? Like how afraid I am that I'll do bad on these first tests, this initial proving ground, and that it will result in my inevitable trip back to the States with the process of becoming a doctor further delayed by at least a couple years so I can get a Master's degree to prove my worth again?
I can't afford to ever become arrogant or overly confident in what I've learned. I never learn enough.
And during my study breaks, I don't have ANY of my friends here. I have friends that I've made in the last three weeks, but I've only known them for three weeks AND their cultures differ greatly from my own.
I miss these fears, in a way. But in another way, if I screw up, I'm back to that sorry life I was living, or trying to find a new one, and I don't know if I could bear it. If I dropped out of med school, I think the only thing I could do to feel anything of worth would be to work at Disney World.
I always wish to work there, but it would suck to lose my true calling and have to settle for my secret longing. Some dreams are only meant to be dreamed.
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