I texted her about it. It took me 45 minutes of staring at my phone and rephrasing things, but I sent it. We conversed a little. At the end of it, she said that we are good. I feel better, but I do not know that "good" is the term.
Maybe I have to seek therapy. A low dose of an antidepressant is better than a high dose of alcohol. But I can manage the alcohol on my own, and I do not want to seek out the rest.
I was hoping that telling her my problems (with her) would suddenly cure me. I certainly feel improvement, but I am still terrified of clinic tomorrow. I probably need to let ye olde sexual assaulter know what has been going on in order to normalize our friendship a little.
Perhaps I just need to pray to God a little more rather than just being frustrated with Him.
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