I passed. I learned yesterday that I scored a 212 on that Step 1 exam. Passing was 192 (bumped up to 194 a week after I took it) out of the 280 questions. The clinical dean at my previous school would be so disappointed in me (we were trash if we made below 230, and we were not allowed to celebrate anything until we became chief residents).
I cannot even comprehend it. This is the major hurdle that was holding me back from being recognized as a real medical student in the States. And I can apparently start rotations at the end of each month, so by March, it looks like I will be moved to Houston and working/studying in hospitals.
I had viewed it as this unbeatable goal, this behemoth that I would never have the chance to stare in the eye, much less defeat. It grew larger as time went on, swathed in misty unknown as months floated by. I could never beat it, but I could watch the months drift on. A critical aspect of my recent success has been that I acquired a social life once a week. Life on the island had convinced me that medicine did not allow for such, and the loneliness brought about by isolation became what I understood to be a necessary aspect of this life. Maybe it is not exactly so.
I watched Blood Diamond last night. Set in western Africa, it featured many aspects of Africa that I knew from my past visits to Kenya and Uganda. Unlike my experiences, it also featured the violence and cruelty that comes with political instability (notably the child soldiers). It reminded me of why I am doing this whole medical thing: I desire to visit these countries in need and be the change. Syrian refugees, the conflicts in Yemen... every time I see a headline, I want to go. Once I become a doctor, if I can find the right organizations, or found my own...
It also reminds me of why I am known for being so "picky" when it comes to dating. After all, I am looking for someone else who would, at least sometimes, be my partner in crime on these trips. Though that movie also reminded me of how crazy dangerous it can be for a pretty lady.
Anyway, hopefully someone kills me first.
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