Still Some Left

I went to that party filled with humans from homeschool past. Having been so inundated in the past years with social gatherings that always have a focus on alcohol, it is odd to interact with people whose most notable drug effect is likely to be the caffeine from soda. I spent a portion of my time there talking to my crush, but for the most part, I was meeting new people. And I must admit that, like many medical friends of mine, much of me dislikes doing that these days. But I also know that it is good for me, and crush was there, so that was the way of it.

One of the things I most appreciate about an alcohol-infused setting is that other people lose a layer of inhibition of which I tend to remain bereft. So without alcohol, I feel compelled to acquire that missing inhibition. Fortunately, the evening wore on and I defaulted to my usual habits of slurring my speech and walking oddly.

Regarding her, she seemed great. Dancing the whole time, as I once did. It was not maturity that shut me up in the dancing realm; instead, it was my time in medical school. I warned everyone that I would be a different person afterward, and I was right. I think I may be worse, though part of that is simply due to how much I know. In any case, she seems like me except without becoming corrupted.

I talked to God about it last night. I told Him (because I have not been a great listener for a long while) that even if she is just being nice and is not romantically interested, I understand that I need not lower my standards or feel helpless in the search for another. There are still some left out there.

Anyway, my relational maturity level has probably not progressed since I was twelve, so I am still following his lead on this.