The Bridesmaid Identity

As I begin seriously studying weeks after I had intended to do so, I am noticing a drop in confidence. Two months is a long time to go without studying hard. And three months is a very short time to be studying hard. A friend tells me that once you pass the STEP 1, this school places you in clinical rotations quickly (as early as six weeks from test day), which is crazy. The idea that I could actually be in real school again, rather than studying the same crap in an endless cycle, is kind of nuts. So I need to get this done, and do so well.

I have a friend here who does not have a car, so she asks me frequently to give her rides to and from work, as well as for groceries. She is one example of humans to whom I need to begin saying "no". I am not disciplined enough for that kind of friendship while studying.

I attended a wedding on Sunday and saw a pretty short-haired bridesmaid. I asked my friend about her and she (my friend) said they used to live together. Pretty bridesmaid and I later danced with a few others on the dance floor (the grand total was less than six, if I recall correctly). She commented on how she had forgotten what a good dancer I was, which created a mystery for me. She knew who I was, but by golly, her identity remained a mystery to myself. I was going to introduce myself, but the opportunity never came up.

Hours later, I learned her name and Facebook creeped long enough to find her JBU pictures and realized who she was. The haircut she received had performed an apparently dramatic transformation upon her appearance. I counted it fortunate that I had not spoken to her because I had had a class with her and had thereafter mispronounced her name in a specific manner each time I greeted her in passing, a trend which I am fairly sure I maintained throughout the three years that we both attended JBU.

She showed up on a dating app last night, but the ship may have sailed. She does, however, live relatively close to Chicago, which just so happens to be a potential location for my clinical rotations in the somewhat near future.