Something that has been annoying me lately is working out. I need to do it to stay emotionally balanced and disciplined (and ready to dance), but at a certain point, I just wish I could use it for something. Things look nice in the mirror and then I get dressed and that's about it.
My thought life has been less than ideal. Thoughts stray too often. The excuse is of course that I am stuck in this study life. It is the same reason that I am required to be selfish, all of it for the sake of being what I need to be in a few years. The focus is on myself for now so that it can be upon others later, and to a much greater degree. But it never feels healthy.
A big update in my world is that I have just about completed my third Juice Journal, with volume four having arrived just yesterday. The Juice Journal is a place where, after one has partaken of alcohol, one may write whatever they feel inspired to write. This recently completed one began in 2014, the year after I graduated from college, and has been through weddings, three months in Europe, two years in Caribbean med school, and the last year or so in the States. If the first two Juice Journals were during my formative years, this last one was during a period that resembled a crucible, a gritty refining. Despite my seemingly continuous frustrations in college, there was much happiness; since then, the hurdles that have come have seemed bereft of the relief that one would expect on the next horizon.
Moving back to Siloam Springs for the summer has brought an amazing amount of relief though. If I ever need a break, I have friends close by, both casual and fairly close. Well, a long history at least. And the best part is that everything is a few minutes away. And that really is a game changer.
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