To Shreds

My appeal to take more classes was denied. so now I only have school for four hours per day.


I played worship music tonight and I just couldn't get into it at all. Last semester tore me up so much, just ripped me to shreds. I was left with just depression and the disillusionment that came with knowing that no matter how hard you work, even if you "master" a given subject, you can still fail. Badly. So now I just don't know. Relearning seems way less fun than learning, unless you're studying for finals and already have a good enough grade that you'll pass no matter what.

I just feel that getting back to this island is a matter of finding my little niche of depression and wallowing in that until I can finally get home in August.

I wish I could worship God like I used to. Hopefully I'll relearn how to love Him properly. The tunnel vision here is a powerful thing...