Trying Not to Care

I auditioned for that role I thought I had booked. Today is the last day of auditions for it, and I am trying to just assume that I did not book it, because I already spent too many months fantasizing with the role secured in my mind.

It is a dramatic role, which I do need to move forward as an actor career-wise. That being said, I do also have an audition for a comedic role that naturally fits me, and it would shoot in NYC, which would of course be a huge treat all on its own.

It felt like there was a dry spell for so long, but shortly before SAG went on strike, I started getting auditions for various commercial roles. And those things may not help much as an actor, but they do pay! And time spent on set is fun regardless.

I have not had hard liquor for a few days. I used to have a beer and melatonin before bed, and that is probably the realistic middle ground for me. It is easy to slip into drinking more heavily, but I am well-aware that that is very bad for me to do regularly. We have one more cider at home, and then I guess I will have to buy beer again. I have been more strict with my workouts again, with the built-in exception of days when I am going out to an audition, in which case I am permitted to skip the sit-ups in favor of doing last-minute memorization and preparation.