I have spent this week trying to right myself with God. Well, not even that really, so much as clearing my mind and purifying my thinking. That combined with a regular exercise schedule is making me feel myself again. Instead of whining about where I think I should be at this point, I have to realize that the peace I felt with every horrific turn of events was a real indicator that God is making me stay put for a reason. Or reasons.
A big part of being okay with where I am is relearning to give it to God. Giving God those failed exams, the ever-present issues with my university, and my hopes of romance in the future, giving these issues to Him in the present can allow me to have whatever future He has for me.
Today, I read in 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12, "Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." Of course, one aspect of being an academic can be an aversion to working with one's hands, but that certainly changes in the mission field. But what struck me most about the passage today was the ambition to lead a quiet life and mind one's own business. Because in the midst of trying to make a name for myself with the podcast, I simply see contrast. The secret ultimate object of it is for the podcast to become famous enough to generate income to fund medical missionary work, but at a glance, this passage seems to indicate that that is not the best pursuit. Then again, the Apostle Paul was speaking to church congregations rather than to, say, a missionary with side aspirations of being a comedy entertainer. The basic principles remain obvious, of course. Do not refrain from getting down and dirty, show that you are willing to work hard with your fellow man, and in general be a respectable person.
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