Perking Up

Over that break, especially over Thanksgiving weekend, I felt off within myself. Being good friends with people who have drifted so far from what you are is an odd experience. And it does not help that I feel as if I have drifted some from who I am, or at least that that persona is only loosely fitting, like I have shrunk down a size. Time continues to pass and I continue to be shackled to my clearly paved pursuit of becoming the best human I can be. Friends get married, have children, or decide that they do not believe in either, or whatever else, and I am just attempting to keep the subclinical depression at bay as the vacationless academically saturated future looms. Resident friends emphatically tell me that they are very ready to be done with it, to finally be living life and making money. I too feel ready for this, yet I will not be at that point for several years.

Anyway, as depressed as all of that sounds, I am actually perking up at the idea of some creative pursuits arising. I may be unable to travel, but I can write. And I may be unable to edit much, but I can record videos. It is better to have some footage rather than none, some memory of this rather than a blur of sadness with bursts of pleasantries.