Changing And Signs

Hung out with those friends again. I just... I was so selective of my friend groups in high school. And in college. But after those times, friend groups have mostly been based on where I find myself. On the island, I tried to be friends with everyone, but eventually, the white people were drawn to me enough, and the other colors of humans were not necessarily so, that they became my main group.

We all change after middle school, high school, college, other academics, traveling, moving, and relationships. If you are not changed by such, then that is a problem. In the midst of fluctuations in life's situations, the only thing that has remained constant in all of this is God. A significant portion of that is due to the fact that He set me on this course so early on, and this path will continue to dominate my life so much, that I cannot help but intimately connect Him to it, and myself to Him in the process. Especially since, had He not continued over the years to push me towards this pursuit of medicine, I would otherwise have likely dropped it. I mean, it is simply not my area of gifting.

Every friend group seems a sampling of some aspect of myself. Yet the more I revisit with each, the more I realize that the mission field really is the only place that I make sense. That is the personality for which 5-year-old me made his clever design. Stand out, grab attention, do practical good work, introduce Jesus in the midst of it and then again following, and then, after getting lost in the pleasurable exhaustion of that ultimate fulfillment, ready yourself to do it again in a new place the next day, all the while having an ear open to the Holy Spirit leading you. But God, in His infinite wisdom that shatters the logic of the universe, has seen fit to keep me in this educational purgatory rather than out there. I hope and pray that I am learning whatever I am supposed to be learning through this.

I came across this passage the other day. Spoiler alert: Isaiah seems pretty boring thus far. Lots of prophesying about war and stuff that was super critical to the Israelites for those hundreds of years, but preeeeeetttttyyyyy boring from a few thousands of years later. Still though, this passage hit me. It was not the contents of the prophesy, but rather the delivery.

Isaiah 7:10-14.

"Again the Lord spoke to Ahaz, 'Ask the Lord your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights.'
But Ahaz said, 'I will not ask; I will not put the Lord to the test.'
Then Isaiah said, 'Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of humans? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.'"

There was stuff preceding it and following it that was probably important, but what got me was Ahaz refusing to obey God when God told him to ask for a sign. Ahaz had enough honor and respect for God that he was not willing to just ask for something. But God is weird in that He actually wants us to ask, because, as this passage tells us, He already had something ready and waiting. In fact, Ahaz's reasonable response was trying God's patience.

Maybe I should be asking Him for a sign sometime.