Practice test scores are going down. Having to spend a weekend at home (away from my study area) has done little to help my confidence. Not to mention time lost due to Papa Bill's funeral. I will have two weeks to go hard on all of this material. Two weeks. Maybe it is time to turn the cell phone off, to only take timed breaks. 10- to 12-hour study days. Doing a study program was supposed to help, and it was a nice refresher, but I cannot help but feel like I am just incapable of passing these things.
It would help to be around fellow students, fellow intellectuals, but I am in Texas, where most of my company is anti-intellectual in accordance with our country's leader.
I am struggling to give this up to God, to put my confidence in Him. This Texas style of Christian culture makes me feel like the goals and information I'm learning are antagonistic to the very faith that pushed me to this career path.
Two weeks. I just want to run away from all of it.
Maybe I'm a fool to say it, and past me may disagree, but I miss the days of being poor while backpacking in Europe. Or just my blanket fort. Simpler times, these were. But now I feel like an educated fool.
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