I went on this trip for a specific reason. I went to Uganda two years ago with a similarly specific reason in mind. That trip was to find out why I wanted to be a doctor.
In the case of backpacking through Europe for three months, my reason for going was to become a better person and a better Christian, to better myself as a whole. I viewed it as a sort of sabbatical. When I look at it critically, that sounds overly flattering or idealistic, but that really is the way I saw it. Sort of like the first of the newer Batman movies, when he goes off and plays peasant for awhile to get out of that rich kid skin. While I've never considered myself to be a rich kid, particularly not one to compare with Bruce Wayne, I knew that I was born into an upper middle class family (which has since dipped into the lower middle classes, I think), and have never really wanted for much of anything.
The mission was an overall success. I was forced to rely on the kindness of others, to go hungry, to go without sleep, to explain my life and Christian worldview to those who I only really initially related to in the realms of travel and drinking. I traveled with siblings, parents, friends, strangers, alone, with people I couldn't understand at all, and with people I understood on a fundamental level. It was so much and, as I told my grandma upon my return, it was not a vacation. Vacations are for those who have time, money, and people to enjoy them with.
God became my only consistent friend, the only reason I felt I could have confidence in my travels, the reason I didn't have to fear being robbed or hurt or tricked. I was careful, but it is my belief that in a confrontation, a man with something to lose is greatly disadvantaged against a man who has not. I entrusted God with my computer, with my GoPro camera, with my belongings, with my friendship, with my lack thereof, and with my belief that my travels would do something for/to me. I was forced to be more of a missionary than I had ever been in the past, explaining how I could possibly believe in something so ridiculous as the redeeming power of the death and resurrection of Christ. Over pints of Guinness, over vegetarian meals, over pitchers of apple wine, over glass after glass of cheap white wine, I spelled out topics ranging from my beliefs regarding science and the creation of the world to why bad things happen to why I'm waiting for marriage to have sex. I often realized that my dismissal of complex theological topics in the past could prove hazardous when I was asked complex theological questions. But then I just thought that if I was being honest, I've never been truly content with the answers I've heard regarding why God lets bad things happen and topics like that. I just began to consider those in the same light as I consider those questions of science that I can't find good answers for. You can't know or do everything, and really, our hands should be full with what we already do know. There's a whole New Testament that's filled with letters from apostles who are basically just trying to explain what salvation really means for us. Four gospels and then loads of epistles just telling us what the deal was with all that. So I like to think that I take the smarter, simpler route, just trying to grasp what exactly this salvation means for me, rather than grapple with what reasons the ultimate God and creator of the universe has for letting me have a life of struggle rather than a life of ease. Though to be fair, the epistles address that pretty well too. All this, of course, is difficult to convey over a few hours of drinking as your attention span becomes more and more boozed up.
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