Directions And Peace

In the midst of thinking about this med school and the alternative possibilities and my hopes and dreams for the coming year and my studying for the MCAT, I realized that I cannot afford to do what I did at the end of last semester, ignoring God. Not only for myself, either. I'm once again around so many messed up people, those who are sleeping around, who can't get ahold of themselves emotionally, who are sick of where they are, and I look at myself and wonder "why me?", what made me so special as to avoid stupid relationships and so many bad decisions, keeping my thought life pure for so long (with a few bumps on the way, of course)? How am I so much closer to the ideal person I actually want to be?

I went to a church service today where they said not to ask "why me?", but rather "what is God trying to teach me?" Of course, I understood that the generally accepted meaning behind the original question is more like "why is God punishing me and making me go through all this?", but, well, there was another meaning in there for me. I'm here to bring healing on multiple levels. I don't have as much internal conflict going on, which means that I get to focus on others' conflict and help out. Plus, when I do deal with crap, like, say, needing a job or internship or help getting into medical school, people genuinely want to help me make it because I am the type of person they'd want to have that job.

I just felt kinda worried and panicked about that Caribbean med school UMHS (I remembered the initials by thinking "umm, high school..."), and then I remembered the last major educational institution I went to, and how I got there. It's all about what you feel peace about (which can be subject to change, because let's remember that I DIDN'T go to Boston University). Right now, I have a lot of peace about waiting a year, then going to med school. I have peace about EMT school and the potential neurology internship I have this fall. And I continue to dream about visiting Europe.
But what I feel more at peace about is my ability to help my friends here who don't know what to do with themselves beyond getting drunk and getting girls (or guys, as the case may be). And I can help my family. There is much to be done here, and if God keeps me here, I am confident that I can do much.