Practical Application

I was just standing there. Just standing, holding for dear life to the "DANGER: Do not dive or jump" sign which, according to the locals, is the marker for the best cliff-jumping spot in that area. "10, 9, 8..." I hear from below... But when the count reached zero, I still hadn't made a move. I know it won't kill me. I'm not even the first to do it. I've seen other people do it, and how glad they are that they did it... But still, to jump off the edge into that deep blue below... Butterflies bellydance in my tum-tum just thinking about it. The boat full of people below go silent for a moment, and I have time to pray. "God, do you want me to do this?". "Well DUH!" seems to be the immediate reply. This time, I begin the countdown, "10, 9, 8..." and at zero, butterflies fly through my belly, around my throat, then back down, and then I realize that I'm still on my way to that deep blue. This is taking so long! I'm still anticipating. Butterflies have begun dancing in my toes, but are immediately stamped down as they're pounded upwards by the water below. "Poor things," I think, until I realize that a similar fate awaits me at the end of the moment. I hit the water, and am fully immersed. No regrets on my end.



Here it is, practical application of holiness. It's time for one big "YES!!!" to God, with a million implied "no"s to all the stupid things the world throws in my face.

I told my dad what God told me to tell him while I was in LA (he needs to be teaching, 'cause he studies and watches Christian preachers and junk all the time, but he doesn't pour out). And a simple apology came out after an incident involving my new sunglasses going for a dive, which was a confirmation in the realm of the little things. This family is gonna make it after all.

I move into my dorm tomorrow. And one of my dad's stock deals is supposed to go through tomorrow too. I didn't invest, but maybe I can make a few bucks off of it, being the poor college student I am.

I Want A Stress Ball

You know what annoys me? My dad. Tonight, I decided to listen to the voice of Wisdom. As it says in Proverbs, she had been crying aloud in my ear over and over, but I ignored her, thinking that I'd rather hang out with friends than do all the crap my dad has for me. Unfortunately, none of these friends ever had a chance to hang out all week long. I went to weed-eat yesterday and today, with my dad getting mad at me the whole time for not doing it earlier in the week, or last week, or whenever he had told me. I argued with him about this for quite some time (totalling up to over an hour, at least). I told him that he doesn't recognize what I do, and only points out the bad. He says that he's tired of being Mr. Nice Guy, so he's gonna be mean. I told him that that's not Biblical. I was clever to open that can of worms. Next thing I know, he's trying to throw a Bible lesson at me about how crappy I've been not to be obeying fast, well, or thankfully enough. But one thing was different about tonight, that I hadn't tried in a long time. I took it all, shutting up throughout the whole thing. Wisdom told me to shut up or I'd get in trouble again. Wisdom knows what an idiot I can be. The words "submit", "just get through the season", and "you'll be able to answer him once school starts" came to mind. Another thing that came to mind was that I need a stress ball, and I kinda wanted a trash can there, so I could throw up.

My dad tries to use the Bible to force guilt upon me, accusing me of horrible things. Tis my life. One more horrific year.