Upcoming Funeral Of The Family Patriarch

As difficult as my grandfather's passing was, it was inevitable. Short of the return of Jesus, a topic of great focus for the Bible study which my grandfather's taught on a weekly basis, he was going to pass away. A shortcut was introduced, but it was generally as natural as anything else in this life. Other things related to his passing, however, are not a matter of such necessary consequence. The principle matter to which I am referring is, of course, the funeral in six days. My father, who has continuously lived in denial of Covid-19 and the dangers thereof, told us the date of the funeral and that he expected us all to be there. In my case, of course, such expectations are poorly placed. No claims of "social distancing" are to be reliably believed from my father who had attended church while reportedly noticeably infected with Covid-19. So even though we live in a technologically advanced age in which a group could manage to grieve together to some degree, this is not mentioned as a legitimate option. Everyone could get tested beforehand, or isolate, or anything, but each of these requests would be too much to ask from such a stubborn and prideful people who continually live in denial.

So even as my oldest brother is coming into town, a brother who has been living even more reclusively since the pandemic broke out, I have no plans to be in attendance for this event. To go there would be to mourn a preventable death with those who caused it, and who continue to be in denial about it. A people whose very gathering will represent a chance to instigate further spread of this disease, a further propagation of the mode of death that has ravaged our planet.

I anticipate a difficult weekend in which I will be labeled as a selfish person, a black sheep. How odd that to do the right thing could be so...dreadful. But my family does a poor job at empathy, and at this point, I do not expect them to understand.

My youngest sister, who says cruel things because her psychological disorder compels her to do so, said that I might as well spit in my grandfather's urn if I will miss the service. She later apologized, and then proceeded to insult and berate me via text again until I finally blocked her (again). But the thing is, I have compromised my own rules regarding viral safety in order to have weekly meals with my grandfather for the length of most of the pandemic. The reason why I compromised has been, in a very literal sense, killed by the compromise of others. The funeral will hold the ashes of a deceased grandfather and a room full of those who may be infected with a highly contagious and deadly virus. Needless danger in a dangerous time and, once again, I will likely be made out to be the bad one. But I do not wish to emulate my grandfather by imitating his mode of death. Rather, as I see so many Christians willing to sacrifice the lives of those around them for the sake of small convenience, I will endeavor to see the Christ in these people rather than allow the threatening anger to take hold. Forgive them, for they know not what they do.