Well, I haven't blogged since summer, and that tracks. This pandemic does strange things to time. I officially received my doctoral diploma a few months ago, and on the same day, my podcast received some recognition from a major publication, Vulture. I was more excited about the Vulture mention, but being a doctor is nice too.
I applied over and over for my exam permit to retake the Step 2 exam. As of now, it has been roughly 11 months of trying to retake that test, and with graduating and calling in, the permit is expected to be approved within a week or two. I spent $900 applying to residencies, and this delay in the exam will likely cost me my chance at such an opportunity. No interview invitations even from residencies that like me...
Biden also won the election during this time, and Trump lost, but a significant amount of Republicans are trying to throw away the votes. Crazy times.
Also crazy, when my oldest brother told me that no studies have been done on the efficacy of N95 masks in their prevention of contracting or spreading Sars-Cov-2, I corrected him. I myself have read some of the studies, and it would take a truly stupid medical community to somehow avoid doing studies on their primary prophylaxis against the virus. He said "show me the studies" and I said "I don't have to show you anything, but trust me, I'm a doctor" to which he replied, "You aren't a doctor. You spent two years pretending to study and pass two tests." It was a similar reaction to my dad's in a few ways, this sudden insecurity in the face of being confronted with the concept that for all of your recognized brilliance in other areas of life, you had not put the time in to earn a doctorate in this field, and your ignorance shows. And rather than directly facing this ignorance and having the wisdom to recognize that there are those who know better, the preferred path apparently becomes a denial of reality, using one's increasing stupidity as a bludgeon against wisdom and knowledge simply because that wisdom and knowledge is what you lack.
I did not understand these situations at first. I had to ask my mother about it because I was so offended and confused by the reactions. Jealousy, insecurity, and fragile masculinity are the poisons that are currently causing the deaths of thousands of Americans, just as surely as this virus is causing a systemic inflammatory reaction in its victims.
It has made times tough. Aside from sending a holiday text here and there, I have not communicated with my dad since the beginning of summer when he made it abundantly clear that he would not compromise any aspect of his lifestyle for the sake of saving lives, nor for the pleasure of my company. So as a promising vaccine will become available to a select few any day now, family members continue to spout disinformation regarding its chemical makeup. At certain points, I feel obligated to correct them, but it is quite frustrating. A significant issue is that they will blow off the pandemic now, unlike in the beginning, because it is no longer a conspiracy theory. There is real data to back it up, rather than some secondhand questionable data from China, and that makes it somehow unreliable in their eyes comparatively.
On to another topic, my podcast. We are always improving, trying to change it up, and we recently did a livestream event with a sketch comedy house based in Los Angeles and were asked back within a few minutes of it ending. We just recorded an episode with the founder of an improv festival in Dublin who said that if we were ever visiting, he would try to get us some stage time. All amazing things to hear, and a nice world in which to feel validated. This of course was another area in which my oldest brother could have really made it, but he does not, so he minimizes my minor successes here as well. I suppose that it just seems strange to me that he pointedly views me as a "little brother" to the extent that a gain for me somehow means a loss for him. Grow up, kid.
Anyway, I also have not studied enough to do well on the exam and I do not think that I will be able to do so in time to take it, but all I can do is keep trying. A significant downside to this pandemic is that I cannot take breaks to go sing karaoke. I am also low on money, though I do have that vacation fund that I can break into if it comes to that... Oh, and that singing show? Renewed for a second season, but still limited to Southern California casting, so even though I am approved by the network, I do not get to be on national television with some of my comedy heroes.
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