It has been a roughly a month since I found out that I failed my exam, and though the acute phase of that defeated burnout feeling has abated, the continual issues with even getting my residency application complete have left me with little drive. Every time I open up the quizzes, I make it only a portion of the way through a given question before my mind strays.
I spent the better part of two years studying and stressing, with barely a break thrown in. No Christmas, no Thanksgiving, just working and studying. And when self-discipline and self-motivation are the only forces in your life that can keep you on track in a very competitive world, well, the loss of those forces can stop everything in their tracks.
The podcast remains the fulfilling constant in my life, despite the fact that it is not growing. The other day, another podcaster listened to it for the first time when he was discussing having me on his podcast, and he was amazed at our content, given that it is funny, educational, and well-produced. All we need are 10,000 more listeners like him and we can get advertisers!
Anyway, it is refreshing to be back in that phase of life in which people keep asking about medical school and I keep having no good answers for them. 'Tis the season!
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