What's Here And What's Far Ahead

This rotation has been the most enjoyable. It is the closest thing I have seen thus far to what I hope to be. It also raises questions for me. The doctor is from a small town in Texas and is very sarcastic, as are his staff. He is nearing his mid-40's and is wrestling day to day with the struggles of balancing work and family. He gives more time to patients than any doctor I have seen, but that aspect does not pay anything extra, so he tends to get to work early and stay later than he may please, and in the end, he makes less money because of the quality of his care.

To what degree will I become like that? Will I even have a family to balance against work? Maybe work will become my everything and that will be reality.

Since it is on my mind, and no one reads this anyway, girly I was liking before posted a picture of herself with what appears to be a new significant other. The feelings that rise up unbidden are annoying. She and I would not have worked together (I let her know I liked her before I was aware of how little she knew or desired to independently get to know about God and the Bible). Yet at the same time, a part of me is jealous. I suppose that it is largely due to the fact that when she was emphatic that she wanted to be friends, she was also emphatic that she did not care to see me or hear from me. And that was after cancelling plans, so it felt...severing. But her daddy issues play into a lot of how she deals with people, so I need to bear that in mind now that my brain works. Hopefully the new boy toy will help me to put her out of my mind.

As always, I am enduring life while setting my eyes a year (or two) ahead. Next year, I will take the next biggest exams of my life. And then freedom to some degree. I will, at some point next year, acquire my MD, and then presumably try to find some work that is at least loosely related to that in order to raise money for my trip to Asia in spring 2020. 6-8 weeks trekking through Southeast Asia, since that will be my last to do so before residency begins.