To Share

My mind continues to feel empty. I see impressive things around me, appreciate it, and then it passes. It seems that I don’t know how to transition from not really living life to actually living it with this opportunity to be in Europe.

I guess what disappoints me isn’t what I see, but what I feel. In the past, when I’ve traveled to these beautiful places, I would become sad and lonely and consequently dream up a fantasy girl who could be with me in these places. It wasn’t some sexual thing or even just a desire for companionship in the more romantic places, though that latter one was a factor. The main thing is that I see a beautiful world and I just want to share it with someone. I’d like to share it with everyone, but particular someone I’m in tune with, whose views can harmonize with my own.

Four years ago, after my freshman year of college, I traveled some of the world. Though I wished to share all the sights with someone, the biggest desire was to share the little things. The quality of a cold drizzle in Belfast that somehow transformed from a considerable discomfort to an inseparable part of the place I was growing to love. The long walks through cobbled streets in London that got me lost until I stumbled onto markets with street performers.

Maybe my problem is that I’ve been getting caught up in the practical aspects of this trip. Budget has been a big factor. So has my desire to edit videos and blog and do writing work. Maybe what I should really do is just get up from this pub and walk and walk and walk until I come across something new or quirky or weird. And forget about everything else for a little bit.