Lazy Then Locked Out

I was depressed for a couple months, got medicated again, could not figure out how to log into this account... then in the last few weeks, I booked a role that I particularly wanted. And when we had our first zoom meeting, I learned that it is being made with a grant from the Venice International Film Festival, and will be premiering there. So my mom, fresh from a breakup, said we should go. I found a transatlantic cruise that could leisurely get us to Europe the day before the festival starts, and now it is set.

The project will be shot in VR, and is a comedy. Everything is in my wheelhouse. I get to wear some prosthetics, so today was a costume fitting, but I will also be showing up early tomorrow to finalize that. The director asked if I could get there earlier than call time. The only thing that was holding me back from showing up when the crew does is the maintenance of social norms, so I will just be there at the start of the day tomorrow. And there is a gym nearby, so I can get properly stretched in the morning too.

My music and standup are going well. The main issue I currently have as I gather all my bits together is that I keep referring to a set list, which takes attention away from the audience. This is bad, even though I do riff on it and get some laughs in there. So I have a little under three months to get on stage as much as I can, then on that cruise, I will have nine days at sea, during which I hope to steal unused stage space and do enough rehearsing and organizing of my bits to maybe have my routine figured out.

Then we will dock in Barcelona, fly from there to Venice, and attend the oldest film festival in the world.

This could be how I break into the industry. The director was pretty practical in how he talked about it, but apparently few have tried a narrative project in VR, certainly not comedy, and definitely not in the way that we are. It is a cast of 24 people, each of us with our own lav mics. 

Dress rehearsal is tomorrow, shooting the next day. 60 people total on set for the shoot day. Very exciting.

Approaching Valentine's Weekend

Well look who came crawling back to his blog like the worm I am. Off the edibles, so I have been getting stuff done. Music videos with Frozen Soul? Check! Finished editing a tolerable version of the comedy doc pilot while sleeping in my mom's convertible in the midst of snow and ice in a Waffle House parking lot after flying in for the aforementioned music videos because the hotel prices kept going up, but I was not gonna pay 3x the rate when I knew I would have a full day to recover for the shoots anyway? Check!

I have focused more on the music. Yesterday, I tried following a friend's advice and being sad onstage. This came in handy because a song I am working on is called Breakup. But it perhaps worked too well? People (not everyone) thought it was real. Or is that good? People think that about She Was Kind too... But it is a downer, so I maybe need to up the absurdity at the end. I have a show tomorrow night (Valentine's) where I plan to just play the one song, then another on Monday where I will be filling ten minutes. Since that will be after Valentine's Day, it seems like a pretty good time to lean into the breakup song, but I dunno.

I bought a season pass to Universal Studios Hollywood, and that amount of stimulus with that little effort on my part really had me craving edibles again. Very fun time. And a great way to avoid being sedentary. A full day of that followed by a movie at AMC? You got a stew going.

Whiny New Year from Me!

Ugh, sober again, and therefore horrifyingly aware of the carcass I have been towing about via my abdomen. The other night, I had to get up like four times to pee, and like, I started to worry about prostate issues. But then I remembered that I have just been eating more food and drinking less water, so probably, my body digests the fluid differently when working with solids. Also, the extra fat can compress the bladder. Yes, the same affliction that plagues the pregnant also plagues me, but I am not sure that I have much to birth as a result.

The pilot I was editing has gotten little response, which makes me assume that it sucks. The most common refrain is that people want to know more about me. It seems that this is a part of life where I need to act like my actual self, which happens to be larger than life, despite how tempered I try to be in my chomps at humble pie. One step to making this happen is to film more of me. I made a few little music videos last year, but that did not last. Part of the reason is of course that I am shooting in horizontal, which means that there is more of the screen to occupy besides my own lil' self.

New Years reflections? Remember how I used to do those? Nah man, I need something to happen. Or just to stick with sobriety for longer. I become a worse person on cannabis, but the alcohol actually destroys. And an issue with the alcohol is that the cannabis products greatly increase the potency of the booze.

Still working on songs, still figuring out what shots might work, and still haunted daily by the world news that can be so paralyzing. They keep kidnapping, killing, deporting, imprisoning, prison camping folks, and here I am just trying to help maybe keep kiddos literate via entertainment? 

Holidays

Ah, the holidays. No life-changing call from an Oscar-winning director to pick me out from obscurity, so I instead am opting to pick myself out from obscurity. I am doing this through the editing of your average run of the mill comedy documentary variety show pilot. It is currently something like 15 minutes long, but I do need to add a few bits focused on me (one-liners, short songs) that I think will bump it up to around 20 minutes. And I will maybe put in some footage from a backyard variety show that was more professionally shot. It would be lovely to team up with those folks, rather than attempt to do this on my own.

I have been just trimming clips and killing darlings, and, additionally, making sure it all stays clean. The dirtiest stuff is mine, within the edutaitional songs. 

Of course, I only have one edutaining song written, and that one is about testicular cancer. I have at least one more in the works (tough to say for sure due to my being an unreliable narrator). But once I realized that I already had one in the bank, I opted to record the song and film a music video over Christmas. Hopefully there will be a nice contrast between the generally scarcely edited pieces, and the heavily edited music video in which I play around with aspect ratios.

Oh, and today, at the recommendation of a PR person I met at a holiday party (who was waiting tables), I sent an email to a British publication that focuses on music and comedy. So we will see if anything comes of that!

In the past, in the days leading up to the new year, I would be writing up lengthy reflections, tracking my growth as a person. But that feels like a boring idea, the kind that I may be driven to once I am fatigued by all this editing.

Also, the video editing has primarily been done on the adobe premiere app on iPhone. I think that if I try to export the full video from that device, it may kill said device, along with everyone in a 12-mile radius. Oopsie toodles!

No Life-Changing Call/Text/Email YET

It is Monday at 3:10 pm PST. I have not received a life-changing email. Looks like this ol' bag of bones might need to try changing his own life. Of course, I woke up at 3 pm. Last night was a fun show, but I did make the measured mistake of taking an edible that I knew would keep me out for awhile.

Waiting on the line producer to give us a new preliminary budget for what is now a pilot pitch for a comedic variety show with a hint of medicine shoehorned in.

Last night's version was maybe the best I have done of the song She Was Kind. I have changed some of the words every time due to the curse of improv, but last night's rendition took my written version, and also the ending seemed good, which is critical because the ending has no definitive written version yet.

My journey toward physical fitness has admittedly run into delays. You see, edibles and alcohol can tempt strongly when you are the one making your own projects and deadlines. Because as fun as it is to make real progress in a way that could maybe be viewed by millions at home, it is also fun to kill parts of your brain while you struggle to watch a show on your laptop in your mom's car in a fast food parking lot late at night. Two sides of the same coin, really.

But you know a good way to kick me into gear? Offer me a role with an Oscar-winning director. Or heck, any ol' role that pays a living wage to do acting.

That being said, I was kind of holding my breath for the duration of the weekend. Monday has now come and mostly gone, and I am still left with what I had previous. So perhaps it is time to follow through with a myriad of plans.

A Wee (EXCITING) Update

Looks like it's been a little bit since I posted last. I have been talking to the camera a lot more.

But the other day, I got a big wrench thrown into my plans (maybe in a good way). For one thing, I have a self-tape audition with one of the biggest directors (and some major executive producers) in Hollywood. I had to sign an NDA to get the sides for it, and the sides give away nothing anyway. This is a giant huge incredible deal, the reason why you want real reps in this business.

And once we got a line producer involved, Sonetta started laying out the timeline for the feature doc as being more like a 2027 release, whereas the footage I am currently sitting on feels very of the present times. So I am now pivoting to what I think I would potentially be best at, hosting an edutational comedic variety documentary show. There's gotta be an oscar for that, right? A poor man's SNL, but with a focus on the artists via those QR codes.

But back to that self tape... the first thing they asked of me was just an intro video that answered a few questions, then gave me a chance to basically pitch myself. I think it was on the fifth take that I knew I had it. Same sorta feeling that I get with these daily song videos sometimes. But I snagged a motel room for dosmorrow night for this self tape.

Oh, and last night, I gave in and bought Pokemon Arceus for Nintendo Switch. And I cannot tell you how incredible I feel as a Pokemon Master. Well, future master, but it is already all too obvious. I was waiting around to avoid paying full price, but I cannot describe to you how good it felt to give in and buy it. This is due in part to the parts I have been cast in of late. I am not rich, but I am at least losing money more slowly!

Filmmaking

No more waiting around for opportunities to come to me. I am officially in production on my comedy special and documentary! I get to have animation! I get to do little bits, and they all get their time onscreen.

Eat your heart out, Bo Burnham, 'cause this comedian doesn't need a studio apartment or fancy lighting to make his comedy special.

And it turns out that I know a bunch of people who know some celeb comedians. I think I can get cameos from some decently big names. Kyle Mooney, Dana Carvey, John Mulaney... not to mention favorites like the hosts of Hollywood Handbook and the Birthday Boys.