I have an audition for the role that I thought I had for eight months. This is the industry, and I have to remind myself to be thankful for the opportunity to audition. Auditioning is a privilege. I had my first callback in ages last week, which was nervewracking. I flubbed my lines a little after they gave me the usual note to tone it down. The adrenaline rush of actually talking to the director can make it hard to dampen that energy, but that is definitely something that I need to get over.
In three weeks, I have a role in a short film using my contortionist skills as an alien creature. The director sent me a script for it, and I immediately had notes. Generally a nice script, and my part has parts that I am excited for, but I asked if I could give suggestions, and told him one of them. He responded that he already has two writers, but then he saw my pitch and said I was right, and he would do some rewrites.
I have another audition, this one for a comedy series on what I just learned might be a kind of legitimate but small studio. And if I remember right, we would shoot in NYC and they would cover travel and lodging. Even if I hated the role, that trip alone would make me want to audition, but the role actually feels like a good fit. It is close to what my podcast character originally was, having to do a job and present information with an overly happy demeanor fighting through the terrible responses.
I have been drinking too much. That desire goes away when I am working. I need to work. I want so badly to work. Even my writing feels like it is stagnating some, because I need to feel it out on stage or camera since it involves so much physicality. But it is torture to go to open mics. Maybe it is not so bad anymore though, now, since I have done a real show. I am not desperate for open mic footage nor pressured to spit out all the words in a set.
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