Started Neuro & Dreading Scores

I started my neurology rotation this week. The doctor with whom I am working has been easy, not making me do anything. In fact, he primarily just complains to myself and to patients about patients and doctors and the overall state of the world. All day, every day. I have of course been learning a lot too. For one thing, treatment options for seizures in the neuro section of my textbook are just plain wrong. In addition, a focused neurological exam is not as terrifying as I had thought, and I think I can be good at doing it in an appropriately abbreviated way in the future. Having never really seen a neurological exam done properly in the past, it had remained a fearful unknown.

Next week, I will be working with the main doctor, for whom I had previously worked as a medical assistant years ago. From my understanding, she is far more thorough, so I will need to study up this weekend.

On Wednesday, I am likely to receive my exam scores from a few weeks ago. Parts of me have tried to speak up and say things like "But what if you passed? How amazing would that be?" But let's be real. I likely failed that thing. And I just do not want to deal with falling from the greater metaphorical height of presumed good scores, because the impact of that fall is worse than just a neutral or failing approach. Family keeps asking me how I think I did. Honestly, I think that I failed, but I have just told them that I do not know, which is also true.

In the world of my podcast, it is not growing, but it is not losing listeners either. It just needs more exposure, and some cross-promotion from other podcasts is likely the best route for that. Oh, and I also found an audio interface at a low price, so I am finally able to record without finding other friends to manage that portion.