The Search And The Journey

Can I be frank? I am just not like other humans. Not like other guys. Sure, I desire companionship and such, but what gets me going more than anything is this idealistic prospect of saving the world. This whole doctor thing is a means to achieve that, in a way, but as I am staring at that light at the end of the tunnel that is my MD, I cannot help but think that this most noble of professions will still fall short. The dastardly corruption of this world is so awful, the willingness to allow suffering so prevalent, that it seems as if any participation on my part would hardly do anything to assuage such grievance.

Back in high school, I wrote a poem about how contentment is something that I avoid. That theme continues to resonate with me. I am so very rarely content with where I am in life, with what I am doing, that I at some points must take pause to wonder if I will ever reach whatever my aspirations may be. I am roughly seven years away from my proposed death date, and my sneaking suspicion is that I will not achieve whatever it is that I aspire toward before that day.

Some people can be happy with the pursuit of happiness. I, unfortunately, am either too stupid or too intelligent to allow that pursuit to dominate any notable facet of my world.

I have had much to drink and my eyes are actually closed as I type this, so hopefully it is all very insightful and brings a body to the point of extreme revelation. Or whatever.

Goodnight. Continue your search and bask in the journey.