She is at a place where she does not want to think about boys or dating. And that is a healthy place. So I am no longer to think of her romantically, which is probably good, 'cause it consumed so many of my thoughts.
Though I would like to go yell at God about it (I thought He and I had cleared up some of these things last weekend), I begin my next rotation bright and early tomorrow. My mind feels somewhat relieved but also restive. I wish I had anything going on in this new city.
Make no mistake, I am glad that all of that happened. Maybe we will be come the people for each other someday, but we are not for each other as we are. I allowed myself to feel a lot, and it also got me writing a lot too. I had so little inspiration for most of my years that this flood comes as a relief, letting me know that that ability to write is still in me. If I go to a poetry open mic night, I will have something to share, and that is quite nice.
So now I am left with the ever-present question of how I can attain any form of a social life here? I have no relief apart from that which I find at the clinic, and one can hardly call a medical student's life at a clinic a "social life".
For now, I will have a drink and try to focus on the psychiatry rotation that awaits me in the morning. The mission, as always, is to obtain a letter of recommendation.
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