A Little Over Three Weeks

The days pass. I stand and watch, but hardly more than that. The need to take care of responsibilities is not yet pressing. I adore the time I spend with my few close friends here. The next year will be extremely difficult, but such a different flavor of adversity that I suppose I should be looking forward to it. It will be real and I am not prepared for it, but I suppose that we never are prepared for the best things in life, and that is how they instill so much in us.

The initial shock of passing that exam has mostly abated, so that I am able to sit and just be a little. It has been so many years since I last had such a huge period of time with no fear of failure hanging over my head, no upcoming test that could potentially trash my dreams of becoming a doctor.

The hope is beginning to seem somewhat real. The other day, with family, I was discussing how much money I had, and how much I was to receive, and it turns out that I have enough to cover tuition until I graduate. And more money is likely to arrive, which means that I could possibly choose an apartment that is not in squalor. Since I will be living in Houston for two years, I will probably be attempting to find a good place.

A little over three weeks until I work in hospitals. I ordered textbooks tonight and will be apartment hunting soon. It is very intimidating. I have had time to forget many clinical skills learned at my previous medical school, and family medicine, my first rotation, will also involve suturing. Suturing is a skill that I have practice a few times and then forgotten because I never had need to sew up a patient after an exam on the computer.