Taking A Punch And Learning From It

Two weeks of everything. Papers, presentations, nightcaps, impure thoughts, keyboard not working, and all kinds of bad things. It was a week of many things that could possibly go wrong deciding to do so. But I did all work ahead of time, read the full week of lectures over the weekend, and now it's Friday. And unlike past Fridays before exams, I've already been over all of the information already. Instead of reading new information, it's all going to be review.

Yet my confidence is still lacking? Why? Because somehow, every time I try, I still fail. My attempts at becoming an A student last block landed me with failing to average scores. I know that God has my back, but I also know that He works in "mysterious ways", and I'm often tempted to think that whatever way He's working is just gonna screw me over and teach me a lesson.

I'm very good at taking a punch and learning from it. That's often what the Christian life seems like. But it's exhausting. And exhausting is fine, but exhausted failure really isn't. It's not even an issue of having to possibly repeat a class or something. The problem is that if I do have to repeat a class, I don't get to take a new one and learn new things. By the time I take the final, I will have filled in whatever blanks remain in my learning thus far. And if I fail after that, it will just be tragic. Knowing plenty in a class yet still having to repeat it, and then not getting to learn new things from a new class? That's just awful.