Unknown Sacrifices

The life I've chosen has sacrifices I don't tend to realize. I often view people and relationships as a chore, which is stupid, 'cause it's like viewing working out or showering in the same manner. After putting time into any of the aforementioned activities, you tend to improve. Whether it's improving your hygiene, body, or self as a person, the time is invested, not lost. The past few months, I've invested far more time in patients than in friendships, simply because that's my job. And I'd become content with that to some extent. But then I got to see so many friends at that wedding and I realized just what I've been sacrificing. It's like a whole part of me had become dormant and was reawoken when I saw them, and every moment was like precious drops, none of it a waste whatsoever.

Another part of me lay dormant as well. There's this cultured aspect that's just longing, longing to go somewhere away from here and just take things as they come. To write and sketch in journals, to visit museums, to sit in coffeeshops and read/write, to hitchhike, to meet new people, to work for an afternoon to earn a bed for the night, to reflect on myself and who I have become and whether that is who I want to be or if I need to work on things before my personality becomes set in stone in the next few years, to lay back on the beach without worries, and if it's remotely practical, to also fall in love. But all of the former are much more likely and possible sooner, methinks.

Hopefully these few days off for Thanksgiving will help me reconnect with those I should reconnect with and perhaps put some of my longings at bay.