Back in LA (not Louisiana)

Oh, boy howdy. My big plans to form a musical comedy duo ran into some snags. Criston, who should have already gotten famous for his music, voice, and looks, was somewhat open to the idea, but then he went on got motorcycle wrecked into getting his jaws wired shut. I asked my other friend Jake, but he could not fathom doing creative work while he spends his days doing manual labor. He dislikes the manual labor, and it is negatively affecting his physical health, but it is so occupying that it is a never ending venture. What stinks is that he is one of the most naturally gifted improvisers, one of the accidentally funniest people I know. And like Criston, he knows music far more in-depth than I do.

I really should write to catch up on things, because a lot did happen. I flew to Dallas, left my mom's Prius in street parking that would go on to become a temporary tow-away zone. This would cost me much stress and money upon my return to LA. While in Dallas, I met the SFX MUA who would be working with me on this short film. After we got a mold of my fingies, I drove to Arkansas. Fun time there, always feels like a vacation. It helps that they sell cannabis products at the border with Missouri half an hour north. I of course was happy to simply chomp one from my friend's neighbor.

Then upon my return to the Dallas area, we did a test shoot with the prosthetics. This is when it starts to feel crazy, because for this test shoot, I wore $500 of prosthetics. Then later, at the actual shoot, I wore that same amount of prosthetics again. We did not get the shots the first night, so I voluntarily stayed in makeup while I slept, then we shot my stuff late the next day just before a thunderstorm stopped us from shooting more. Now they have that footage, but have rewritten the script to avoid requiring me when they reshoot it, since I am typically out of state.

Then I bought a used iPhone 12 mini via fb marketplace for $150. Game changer. I can now film in 4K, and I already have good professional dynamic mics, so suddenly, my usual posts can be in high quality, and I can start considering making short films and content on my own.

Then that SFX MUA agreed to do a life casting of my face, which is something I had wanted for a year. And she also wanted me to act in a short film she was making. So I got a free haircut a life casting, and 4K footage of the latter, along with some creature contortionist moves from both films. And I was able to connect those artists with my buddies in LA who are more experienced/knowledgeable.

So today, back in LA, I sent a clip to a local buddy who is great at improv and, as he put it, "plays basically every musical instrument." He is a chubby, bald, bearded latino guy. I love his sense of humor, and I think we could work great together, but I just have not known him for that long. I have known him for a year, but have only sat down to chat over a meal once. This is in part because I have a crush on his close friend and collaborator. Very distracting.

And I also finally went jogging yesterday. It reprograms my brain. Right now, I feel driven, performative, like I want to make stuff rather than settle in with writing. But this state is also a more distracted one. Something I realized I strongly dislike is the fact that when my work ethic is up, edibles are less effective. The brain-wrecking power of an edible is not as potent against my horrifying level of focus. Still hyperfocused, just not aimed well at the moment.

Prepping to be Primed

It took maybe a month? But I dropped the fat from belly, and now am focused on building muscle back. Sit-ups every day, plus that annoying but necessary cardio.

I had always planned to be dead at 35 years old. Now as I come upon that age (and fresh after seeing Robert Pattinson in achievable fit physique in Mickey 17), I realize that I am hitting prime human. So this is unfortunatley required to be my best year. Be in the best shape, get work, get paid, maybe start a musical comedy act...

Okay sure, I have talked a big game about the musical comedy for a bit now. In my defense, I am getting better at ukulele every day, and I am trying to recruit a friend of mine to do it with me. His music is clever but not comedy, which theoretically makes him a great straight man. That and the fact that a lot of his skill set complements my own means that there is a lot of potential... but he has yet to express interest in such a venture, despite the walls of text I send pitching him on it.

I have gotten some self-tape auditions over the past couple weeks. Maybe it is that, or the endorphins from my workout routine, or the sobriety, but I am feeling pretty happy and hopeful.

The workplace comedy I worked on as a writer, actor, and improviser, it should come out in maybe early summer? And I am told that I will get paid for it, which is obviously neat.

Whatever I do, I need to actually get it done. The time for prep is almost finished, and then I can finally get out there. Ideally while collaborating with friends, but on my own if I have to.

My Weight Loss Journey

I have felt odd about sharing this elsewhere, so I will do it here. Looking back, it appears that roughly when I learned the results of this last presidential election, I had a paradigm shift that led to significant changes in personal habits. Essentially, it became clear that rather than edging toward an uncertain future, we will instead be plunging headlong into an apocalyptic scenario. It is no longer realistic to consider humanity's ongoing survival in its current state, not with the degree of change that the climate is currently undergoing.

So I started drinking too much. I was drinking so much that when I went for a little lunch meeting to prep for a writing gig, I had to excuse myself to the restroom, where I promptly vomited. Just barely keeping it together. So I explored edibles and, critically, stopped exercising regularly.

Now, I have at many times in the past, attempted to stop working out. It eats into my schedule and is frankly annoying, but every time I stop, my work ethic dies out, and this time, combined with the munchies brought on by edibles, I was taking in something like 5x as many calories as usual. So I developed a gut. And I began to settle for that, but when I tried doing my usual stretches, I now had a physical obstacle in the form of my belly. I also played my first slapstick comedy role during this time, and the gut was unattractive for the persona that I have developed.

But then I decided to get back into shape, to go running again. Then the California wildfires hit the very next day, and suddenly, the cardio that I wanted to do could literally kill me, so I drove south and kept exploring edibles, kept eating. And then I experienced the odd sensation of not needing to eat anymore. Eating became a choice for pleasure rather than mere sustenance, because I could feel that my extra fat stores could sustain me, particularly since my writing habits have me living pretty sedentary anyway.

The fires did eventually get put out, and the air cleared, and I finally returned to slowly get my body back into shape. And it was not that hard. The hardest part was and continues to be the cardio. I used to run 2 1/2 miles every time, and now I am hitting a mile on a good day, with lots of breaks thrown in. That being said, I can feel myself improving. Work ethic is up, my abs are coming back, and this timing is critical to some degree because I am doing creature work, modeling, and medical skill demonstrations in a couple weeks' time.

Fascism and Career Locations

It is very annoying that LA is still on fire. I drive back into town to see shows, hang out, and the air is still bad for body. This makes it a little tempting to go to Malaysia to try for an acting role there.

$650 for the flights, $300 for a month of lodging... Then what, food and drink? So a thousand for a month. All I need is some justification for it. But now just so happens to be pilot season, such as there is, so it would probably be dumb to leave LA.

We also have whatever political stuff going on. Do I want to be in the States while it goes full fascism? Will it be much better here than elsewhere?

I want to get spendy with the AMC A-list and Universal annual pass, but the latter is really too dangerous right now. If I have the patience, I can go see a number of films. And it is easier to make oneself have patience in a theater compared to in a car at night while high.

Can we write this show? Just a workplace comedy, not something terribly groundbreaking, but it is the kind of thing that we would watch on repeat.

Attached

Newport Beach again tonight. It is the weekend.

Being a superhero, you are not supposed to fall in love. It only works in the short-term. But they do tend to try it. Maybe you should try it, a thing that requires some degree of vulnerability and recognition that it might not work out, but it feels great in the moment.

But also, I have just been alone and drunk/high for the past month or so, so maybe I just need human contact. Since money is not a worry for the moment, I will likely be attending two improv shows in LA proper over the next few days.

I got the script for that feature today. I am on page 76 out of 101. Crazy that I am already attached to a role like this. A psychiatrist specializing in sleep studies who pushes a guy to murder people in his sleep?

Laguna Beach

Fleeing fire has led me to Laguna Beach, a picturesque little walkable seaside town south of LA. It reminds me of when I traveled Southern France, except that the variety of accents here seems to be greater. Also, the streets are not paved with stone, cobbled, or otherwise, so walking is precipitously easy. What a slippery slope.

In my pursuit to better myself and become that one particular version of me, I am debating whether this evening should include me playing ukulele on the street. Can I just wander around and try to find myself? Will I finally become a street performer?

New year, New Money, New Horizons?

I got $19k in my account and you know what, I also came up with an idea for a tv show while I was high last night on edibles that I was not sure I could afford. So HAHA!

But also, it is pretty funny to see the video reminders I make for myself because my brain is fully wrecked when I am stoned. I feel like I have the same kinds of thoughts, but none of them have staying power, so I go through more of them, and I also have the patience to take in a wider variety of media that would otherwise bore me too quickly.

The edibles are serving as a realistic alternative to alcohol. That being said, I still mostly only have whatever I recorded, as my memory is pretty obliterated by the drugs.

I finally went jogging again yesterday. One or more of my left hip adductor muscles has been screwy, and now I think that the jogging had kept it from tightening up for all these years. I barely did a jog, but it was just enough to reawaken that part of me that wants to get stuff done. So there is a perk.

We were going to record the podcast tonight, but my cohost's laptop died, and there is an event involving the screening of a number of short films, so I am honestly a little relieved, and happy to go to that instead. It will almost be like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in Hollywood.