Attached

Newport Beach again tonight. It is the weekend.

Being a superhero, you are not supposed to fall in love. It only works in the short-term. But they do tend to try it. Maybe you should try it, a thing that requires some degree of vulnerability and recognition that it might not work out, but it feels great in the moment.

But also, I have just been alone and drunk/high for the past month or so, so maybe I just need human contact. Since money is not a worry for the moment, I will likely be attending two improv shows in LA proper over the next few days.

I got the script for that feature today. I am on page 76 out of 101. Crazy that I am already attached to a role like this. A psychiatrist specializing in sleep studies who pushes a guy to murder people in his sleep?

Laguna Beach

Fleeing fire has led me to Laguna Beach, a picturesque little walkable seaside town south of LA. It reminds me of when I traveled Southern France, except that the variety of accents here seems to be greater. Also, the streets are not paved with stone, cobbled, or otherwise, so walking is precipitously easy. What a slippery slope.

In my pursuit to better myself and become that one particular version of me, I am debating whether this evening should include me playing ukulele on the street. Can I just wander around and try to find myself? Will I finally become a street performer?

New year, New Money, New Horizons?

I got $19k in my account and you know what, I also came up with an idea for a tv show while I was high last night on edibles that I was not sure I could afford. So HAHA!

But also, it is pretty funny to see the video reminders I make for myself because my brain is fully wrecked when I am stoned. I feel like I have the same kinds of thoughts, but none of them have staying power, so I go through more of them, and I also have the patience to take in a wider variety of media that would otherwise bore me too quickly.

The edibles are serving as a realistic alternative to alcohol. That being said, I still mostly only have whatever I recorded, as my memory is pretty obliterated by the drugs.

I finally went jogging again yesterday. One or more of my left hip adductor muscles has been screwy, and now I think that the jogging had kept it from tightening up for all these years. I barely did a jog, but it was just enough to reawaken that part of me that wants to get stuff done. So there is a perk.

We were going to record the podcast tonight, but my cohost's laptop died, and there is an event involving the screening of a number of short films, so I am honestly a little relieved, and happy to go to that instead. It will almost be like I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in Hollywood.

Something Always Turns Up

"Boys, I know show business. Something always turns up."

-"Telegram for the Three Amigos"

I paid bills yesterday and today. The bank account holds over a hundred doll hairs, which is due in large part to a one hundred doll hair cash deposit I made today. But then my mom asked me to send her my banking info so she can deposit a check. I can only assume that the check in question is her inheritance being funneled through me for tax reasons, which has always meant that I will have thousands in my bank account. Maybe, what, $18k?

The bright side to the impoverished nature of my situation is that eventually, drugs and booze begin to feel unwieldy as an extra expense. That combined with the timing of the new year means that I turn this poor perspective into a work ethic. Suddenly, it is time to get serious again about writing stuff. Those daily comedy songs? Compile them (and some of my standup) into an act. So I have spent today putting that together just to see what it might look like. Well, also to potentially perform it.

Who knows, maybe I can finally get enough ready to actually go to an open mic again. That would be quite the occasion.

Never Before Opened Year

New year! I was feeling down recently due to poor, but not only did I get good news, but I also, you know, took in less drugs and alcohol, which, while increasing the amount of boredom in my life, also increases my work ethic and efficiency. Oh, and my voice sounds way better.

Got news yesterday that a film being written for me launched its crowdfunding campaign. Written for me to play a twisted psychiatrist of course, not the lead. Great to play the lead, but more fun to play other stuff and give the lead something to react to.

Malaysian studio is no longer looking for a show, preferring instead a feature film. That should be easier to pitch, but we will see.

I think I have just enough edibles left for one last hurrah, so I might give into that temptation tonight, then tomorrow will begin my search for sobriety.

Also, I am writing from a different coffee shop, one that is open later. And I have been at it for much longer. Downside is that it is in West Hollywood, and therefore a little far from a Planet Fitness for me to brush my teeth and shower, but the plus side is that it feels like I have gotten much done. And electronics are almost all fully charged. I have three bigger power banks and one smaller one, and it turns out that they take awhile.

Last night, I recorded hourly videos to document New Years Eve. Plot twists included diarrhea, the British, an insecure police car, and more. Bar crawl was just some drink coupons, and everyone was around my age. I probably could have gotten a smooch, but at the cost of holding conversation at a loud bar, and I decided to follow my instincts instead.